Thoughts of a dying humourist

Somewhere between the end metaphor and the wall

2009-08-28T21:15:00.002+02:00

It seems a shame to let it end like this. So, to keep my nostalgia in check I may still update this. Not that I expect anyone to read it, but an online record of bits of your life can't be all bad. Its better than Walnuts.

Keep your eyes peeled. And shelved, because no one likes errant eyes in the pantry.

Midnight Musical

2007-11-21T00:23:00.001+02:00

I don't quite know why I'm awake. I'm at odds with my head at the moment : It is entertaining a massive headache, whilst I want to stage a Big Loud Musical. You know, where random streetwalking people spontaniously start singing and break out in choreographed moves that is guaranteed to end in a cracked pelvis and much screaming.

Sometimes when I'm standing in the line of a supermarket (this happens...it is S.A after all.), I imagine what it'd be like if everyone communicated in song. (To gt the full effect, get a little tango tune going in your head)

Sir, can you direct me to the juice?
I want to buy some mushrooms
but its cheaper when they're loose

A tin of soup, maybe butternut
Perhaps pea and ham
because I see there was a small price cut

Now to the chocs
oh which one to choose?
the nougat, wafer or little toffee blocks?

Ok, ok, I'l stop. At this point streamers erupt from various hidden places (one hits a dancer in the eye, and he is dragged off unceremoniously while wailing) Tills are chiming, bags are grabbed and swung around, and people twirl and smile. Twirl and smile.

The real world option is much less of the above actions. Lacklustre employees punish the keys of the cash register while avoiding looking at you , lest you ask for a bag and they have to type an additional 3 keys.

The cultural differences in South Africa really come into play in supermarkets. While some people claim to be very much Westernized, other people are quite happy in their collective little bubble. So what happens is, you stand in the queue and suddenly you feel something prodding your arse. You swing around, to find the person in question has pushed their trolley into you, and is now surveying the ceiling in a completely blissful state.

Rage boils up as the culprit then continues to violate your space by going to stand next to their trolley and basically pressing themselves into you in order to get further in the queue. Most people deem this unnecessary. I , personally, want to invest in an axe and hack them to pieces while my battle cry echoes. We need to find a name for this type of anger.

There's Road Rage, 'Roid Rage......how about Row Rage?

Cutting The Big Ribbon (again)

2007-11-20T21:12:00.000+02:00

Hey!

Thoughts of a dying humourist is finally back! :)Not that anyone really sat on the edge of their seat to read the ramblings of a bored dilletante, but still.

Reading through the last few posts, I realise that the last few weeks of blogging has really been a load of nonsense. And not even interesting nonsense (that would have been a saving grace, for we all know how hours while away when you read *that*)

So feel free to comment, whoever you are : an old friend or stopping by for the first time.
Ok, so this was sort of the re-opening rant. Next time it'l be pure journalistic gold. (Or a few brass pennies, depending on your perspective and level of caffeine intoxication)

Have a great one

News....finally.

2007-06-16T21:53:00.000+02:00

For the time being, Thoughts of a dying humourist is on hiatus.
When I get fed up with not writing, I'l get to it again and give this whole thing an overhaul.

Be good, and thanks for reading.

Questions!

2007-05-09T12:28:00.000+02:00

Feel free to answer them in the comments section ;)

Eye colour?
Who is more evil : Mr Burns or the Monopoly Man?
When you hear someone say " oh i love classical music", what's the first thing that runs through your mind?
Left or right handed?
Most annoying song ever stuck in your head?height?
Describe yourself when you were a toddler.
Fishnets : trashy or vixen?current showergel/soap?
What do people say about you that you disagree with?

Forget the Whales, Save The Tagboard

2007-05-08T18:15:00.000+02:00

Ok, people. This tagboard situation is dire : either its going to be used , or I take it off.

[Leaves Teacher Mode]

Hehehe. I hope youre all well..and havent succumbed to Global Storming, which is what Im calling the new variation of the Rat Race. Whilst the Rat Race is one of survival, the Global Storming is the need people are expressing to find the meaning of life. NOW.

(If youre wondering about the name, its a word play on Brainstorming and Global Warming...in case you think I'm just sucking terms out of thin air.)

Philosophy can't exactly be rushed, you know. There were great men who spent their lives trying to define things. Socrates, the kind of Michael Jackson of his time, got stoned to death because society was convinced that he mislead students (i.e kids).

Note : the latin prefix "soc" means companion.

Plato, who was pretty much a midget , and which furnished our beautiful language with the concept of Academia.

Aristotle, who took classes from Plato and had a slightly unhealthy fascination with him, but then later retaliated with his own theory. He stood on the rooftop of his house and shouted this to Plato "Booyah, muthatrucker!" (Or at least the Greek equivalent of that)

Then there are those of the who came afterwards...The Medieval Ones, the Enlightenment Ones, Modern, Contemporary. Im just going to poke fun at the well-known ones. You know what they say : The highest trees.

My point is this : You cannot go through life expecting to find meaning in things if you dont construct it yourself. Its the simple concept of literary works, and a particular belief that I hold in signs : If you want to see them, then you will. Feel free to disagree and bitch. I mean...please do

(p.s I am totally aware of the fact that this is a terrible post...rattling on about the meaning of life...oh someone pass me the knife...but meh.)

The Mockingbird

2007-05-07T21:56:00.000+02:00

If you haven't listened to one of Kristin Chenoweth's songs yet, youre missing out. The button-sized blonde is one of Broadway's hottest performers, alongside Idina Menzel. Be warned,she's a soprano, but the range of emotions she can convey in a single song is amazing. I recommend "How long has this been going on" and "'Til there was you".

This is her, by the way:

Ok, on to the real issue.

Have you ever had a crush on someone that , you personally, consider "out of your league" ? And by this I purely mean that you just can't picture yourself and this individual connecting over anything. In your mind you don't fit together because of certain socially achieved roles : He may be a scientist, you're a writer at heart. She may be an anthropologist, you an artist. Can your natural inclination block the path to truly level with someone and find something special within each other?

Moving away from purely technical stuff...personalities...what if you are relaxed and sometimes silly and he's so cool and collected he makes SL magazine look like a preteen mag with boybands in it. How would you go about making him/her see past things like that? Can you even do that?

The old adage of "soort soek soort" comes to mind...but I'd like to think that humans are so dynamic that they can be attracted and amazed by very different people.

Fabricated Destinies, Part 2

2007-05-04T23:06:00.000+02:00

To continue on that note, here's the second batch of bloggers (in no way less important than the first ones)

4. Neko
She becomes increasingly frustrated with her work, daily musing and observing things she finds interesting doesnt give her the extent of unloading that she needs. Then one day she starts doodling, and before long the entire office's supply of paper is covered in mysterious signs and languages. In true business style they wheel her into the mental asylum, but as soon as her feet hit the ground at the entrance, she breaks loose and tears through her clothes, only to reveal a bodysuit made of a collection of deadly snakeskins dyed red. She hisses at them in very dramatic and impressive fashion, saying that the Scarlet Cobra will come for them. She flips her red satin hoodie up and in a flash she's gone. Her days are spent drawing up plans for her ideal house and sipping Chai tea, but her nights are filled with mystery and action as she tracks down people to take revenge on : everyone in her "bad little brown book" (black is too fashionable to be bad) or alternately, people who don't donate blood. With time, she surpasses heroes such as Superman and Batman for the simple reason that she's more savvy and her name doesnt have a crap prefix in front of the word "man" .

5. Edward-John
Our favourite journalist finds new inspiration in the financial side of things, after he's appointed at the Beeld. He develops the habit of waking up in the middle of the night to check his stock ticker, which he stole from the Monopoly man (he was out on a drive in his car).
He scours the newspapers daily and builds up a frightening repertoire of financial-speak, thus alienating the more ignorant of his friends, and drawing closer the ones wearing unfashionable neckties. After months of speculating , he finally invests some money in a seemingly unknown company called Pear. Pear is a software company that markets tiny ear-computers, and it manages to wipe Apple off the fashionable side of the marketplace. After this, Apple grumbles unhappily and goes to sit under the tree with Microsoft.
Edward-John instantly becomes a gazillionaire, and shows up for the last day of work purely to give his editor the finger. For the next few years he travels the world, wooing countless women and soaking up the culture like a desert sponge. He buys a house in Finland and marries Agnetha, a woman who bears him 9 children, all with red hair.

Beeno and the chewables

2007-05-01T21:28:00.000+02:00

Hello! You would think that someone who had imbibed more than the appropriate amount of coffee, would be peppy and jittery. But nooooooo.

So I'm throwing into the air the question of "how is everyone doing" ....no , I really do care how all the blog people are getting on. Having said that, "blogpeople" tend to interest me endlessly. We don't really know each other. Sure, we communicate. But that which is blogged, isnt exactly the grit-n-bones daily stuff that geographically blessed friends put up with. So to which extent are you allowed to feel emotionally connected to people you havent met?

I smell guava.

So, to the chagrin and entertainment of my few blogpeople, here are their futures, as mused by me :) (any truisms contained in this report is purely your imagination.) (And no, the order of blogpeople arent due to favouritism)

1. Kirstin.
Dear Kirst , I fear, will not be keen to come back. Instead she will buy a apartment in London, with the fat promotion that she got from her firm where she works as Indie Festival Organizer. She is constantly seen with the "they're going to be the hottest thing within 5 minutes" bands, and smokes a brand of cigarettes which has filters made of foxtail. Then one day, she makes the mistake of mentioning Franz Ferdinand in the presence of some alternative bands, and at once she is attacked by irate bandmembers and fans. They maul her and continue to cut chunks out of her hair - luckily she breaks a wine glass and puts some eyes out before she escapes, relatively unscathed. After this ordeal, she trades in her London place to live in Teignmouth, where she waits. Her hair still grows in patchy, but she has managed to write a tell-all biography from the comfort of her home, entitled "You sons of beyatches" , to get back at the band who mauled her. It becomes a best-seller and the band's label drops them. Kirstin gets filthy rich and breeds a whole new genus of cat called the "Amphitiger".

2. Mikey
Having been the economy's slave for the unsettling period of 4 years, he decides to travel Europe for a while and gain some life experience. While he's at it, he also wanted to develop a taste for those icky cheeses. So he flies off to Spain, first-class (the leg space, people) and upon arrival in Barcelona almost instantly takes a liking to Pablo, a muscular local who keeps making eyes at him. The next week, a talent scout scoops Mikey up, and he is promptly flown to America to appear in Cocqui Jeans, the hip new collection by Guess. He stands around in the commercial, looking cool and model-like. This catches the eye of Derick, a refined, attractive businessman with a penchant for chocolate syrup and figs on his lover. Mikey emerges from his N.Y loft several days later, clutching an empty tube and a very full conscience.
As he makes his way back into Europe, this time France, he falls down in the the cobbled streets and skins both his knees. His neighbour, a arty and ravishingly handsome man called Jean, nurses him back to health and develops a giant crush on him, all while tending to his wounds and dabbing his forehead when the pain gets too much. They decide to sponsor orphans in West Africa and go for weekly walks in the vineyards.

3. Matthew
In his last year at varsity, he wins the award for "Most Likely to Detract Attention from the Band" , this being precipitated by women constantly throwing their undies onto his camera in an attempt to attract his attention. Growing tired of being both an expert and attractive, he decides to lose one of those labels. He undergoes extensive surgery to alter his looks, but emerges looking pretty much the same , but with a 3 extra fingers and a superfluous nipple, as his surgery was botched. For the next 4 years he would not undress in front of people , and he would aggravate masses by giving misleading directions due to his extra fingers pointing everywhere. He decides enough is enough and changes his name to "Hoiven Maven" and books into exclusive hotels so he can peruse their mini-bars. Finally an old lady is saved from liver failure by Matthew's fridge-pilfering ways, and in her eventual will she leaves him a huge manor and a bevy of gorgeous Swedish maids to look after him. He continues photography, but mostly on the maids. Years later, he is hailed as the Hugh Hefner but without STD's. He is finally happy.

4.Tate
Having been a football nut since he could balance himself on his own legs, he decided that he is finally giving up the ruse of being quite good at football, and decides to give it his all. He turns out to be a super-player and upon discovering him, Man Utd kicks out 2 players of his choice, signs him and gives him a double salary. Soon though ,this life of indulgence and footcramps begins to bore him and he starts looking for greener pastures. By this time his leg muscles have developed so much that he had to give them seperate birthdays and driver's licences. As he stood outside the stadium one day, a raging Tottenham Hotspur fan comes running up and vomits all over him. The acrid smell of failure causes him to faint and in wakes up in hospital with severe Retrograde Long-term Amnesia. To this day he thinks his name is Ryan Tate, simply because one of the nurses thought it was a hot name. His identity document says " Beauregard Fettlestix" . No one has the guts to tell him. Happily he goes through life looking for a woman to marry and have a family with. Currently he only owns a cactus called "Moose".

TO BE CONTINUED>>>

(p.s I dyed my hair)

The Typo, The Translation and other shocking word beginning with T.

2007-04-21T12:06:00.000+02:00

This week has been all but calm, people. Now I actually have a legtimate excuse for not being able to get blogging ...that is to say, one that doesnt include "Sims2" and "my boring life" as reasons. The writing lab has me slaving away about 4 hours a day (there are whipcracks and heinous cackles abound) with people who cannot, and aren't trying to see their own mistakes. By the 3rd hour the words start dancing menacingly in front of your eyes and you sigh inwardly as you have to start the rhyme about " No, the bibliography does not make up the length of your essay. You cannot put random words in of which you don't know the meaning. Don't start 7 consecutive paragraphs with "This is".

oh. my. word.
It's enough to make anyone try and peel their skin off from frustration.
*sigh*

(If you were wondering what the title refers to, Im busy with a Translation Assignment, which is a nightmare)

Ok, enough venting. In the midst of this whirlwind of grammar, I've been sitting on an idea. Well...actually, it was sparked by my friend Mikey's fascination with double-barreled surnames, coupled with my fascination with the pretention that is British "Society".

Here is the first bit - it's not even a page long, but I feel I have to put something on the blog so you can start gathering those rotten tomatoes or flowers, however your inclination might be after reading it. Enjoy. And comment! :P

“ Get OUT!!”. Malvina Padlington-Croates lilted her intonation so that the last bit of her shriek was so high she almost became breathless. Outraged , she shooed with her pudgy hands, adorned in what seemed like her whole inventory of jewellery. The 24-carat gold gleamed in the dim candlelight, offset by rubies and emeralds which seemed to be glowing indignation at having been thrust onto such an undeserving finger. Meanwhile all hell had broke loose in the chamber as the lady of the house perilously pranced around and yelled at the maid. The bewildered girl could do all but break her knees scurrying out,mumbling apologies and bowing until she was in the hallway.

Malvina slammed the door shut behind the girl and rested her considerable bulk against it. Servants these days were more a pestilence than a help, really. Sighing deeply, her eyes scanned downward to try and assess what the maid saw. Her ample breasts were almost cascading over the too-tight corset that compressed her into almost half the size her waist usually was. The black ribbons were coming loose at the ends and hung down to her hips, where it looked like the corset had spat out two doughy sausages that functioned as legs. In comparison, her ankles were dainty, almost comically so, and her feet the same. Her mother had always bragged in society about her second eldest daughter’s dainty ankles – much to the silent chagrin of her sister Delores, who later died of tuberculosis and jealousy.

She traipsed over to her vanity mirror and sat down. Malvina’s mother, the late Countess Clementina Rutherford-Soarbucks , was as spiteful as she was stupid. Murmurings in society was that she could be outwitted by an autistic racoon. This of course, started as soon as society became aware of the existence of racoons, for they were not very bright themselves. It was very much a case of the blind insulting the blind.

Some time after Clementina’s girls were finally allowed gentlemen callers, she prompty announced that the buck would stop with her when it came to choosing a suitor.
----------------------

Baubular

2007-04-11T15:32:00.000+02:00

The Weather, at last, has showered us with its cold love and tears. I don't know why people feel that winter is a negative metaphor -winter means cuddling and comfort doesnt it? (Except people like Kirst, who has SAD....and then she moved to England, making us SAD.)

Im feeling too damn introspective to blog today. There are things in my head that can only be appropriately examined by means of poetry and music, neither of which im very good or expressive at. If I had a piano out here I could vent at least. Do you ever force yourself to think about things? Force yourself to see colour even though its very purely black and white?
Attaching little meanings to words like christmas baubles, for you to marvel at in the remaining minutes before you fall asleep. At the risk of this turning into a lyrical catharsis, I want you to think about it, rather than just read it. What do you overthink. Why do you overthink it.
(Purely saying youre an overthinker isnt going to cut it.)

--0--

burgundy : the sexy cousin of black

2007-04-07T22:18:00.000+02:00

It's true though. While black is the unforgiving but loved mystery colour, burgundy reveals just a little of its rich velvety illusion. I daresay a taste is more tantalizing than to stare at the wanted object. Be it an experience, colour, food, you name it. So in light of temptation, I present to you men and women. Does the same apply? To which extent does "the untouchable pedestal" control infatuation, and to which extent does the person have to have a "taste" of another one to start craving them? or want them? What do you find in your personal life?

Now, slightly off topic, here's what Ive been listening to this week:

1.Jim Noir - I Me You, Im yours
Sounds like a throwback from 50's rock from a band who (in my mind) wears thick Buddy Holly-style glasses and snort into their milkshakes. But hey.

2. Throwing Muses - Snakeface
Anyone who saw Empire Records will recall Liv Tyler dancing on this , preparing to lose her virginity to Rex Manning (jaded troubadour with a corn-factor of 1000+). Quite sexy song.

3. Hans Zimmer - Thin Red Line Theme
Ah Hans. Along with Mikey, youre my favourite German. This is the theme song to a movie about Vietnam ( I think). So I think the childlike chants with simple melodies , coupled with escalation in involvement from the orchestra (listen out for the horn), makes this a beautiful, stirring song.

4. The Shins - Phantom Limb
Shins will always make me think of Kirstin, because she sort of introduced it to our flat. :)

5. The the - This is the day
One of my favourite songs of all time.I can't believe it took me so long to find it.

6. Alanis Morisette - My Humps
Interestingly, Alanis interprets the famous Fergie/BEP song so that it takes on a whole new tragicomic dimension. Beautiful and slightly haunting. (It also highlights how ridiculous the lyrics are. :s )

7. Pussycat Dolls- Sway
Makes me wish I had swishy long dark hair and heels....oh and a passionate partner to dance with on this.

8. My Chemical Romance - I don't love you
Have you seen the video? Doesnt Gerard Way have something very vulnerable-but-fuck-you about him? Beautiful song.

9. Muse - Invincible
Anthemic lovesong from one of the greatest bands in the world :)

10. Fefe Dobson - Scar
Sadly, a little-known name in music. Something that sounds like it should be on the O.C Soundtrack.

So there you have it. My week in music. I'm going back to Stellenbosch tomorrow, to resume my ratrace duties and pick up the slack on my social life. Until next time :)

Rich Dark Chocolate

2007-04-05T00:13:00.000+02:00

Makeover! Nothing to blow life into a sagging blog like a new skin :P
Yesterday was spent in shops, mainly pushing people around as you scoured the rails for pieces of material to cover your shame. Well...most of it anyway. You wouldnt believe how many people can fit into one Billabong shop. Really. China looks underpopulated compared to it.

So as I was peacefully standing in my own space and my mind whirring with thoughts about clothes and violent actions in equal measures, I was unceremoniously bumped a metre farther by a passer-by. When I regained my balance I looked up to see a black woman, who seemed to have bundled up a small tribe of pygmies (no pun intended) and eaten them. Alternately, she could have been pregnant.
Her eyes spat flames as she looked at me, as if I had come out of thin air and chosen her space to fabricate again. I crept out of reach, imagining how any minute now, she was going to explode warm pygmy-carcass lava.

scary.

In other news : my sister is writing a play that is going to be performed by the school drama group. I asked if I could collaborate, but it seems that the offbeat humour that comes natural to us, will be lost on the masses of parents that warm the hall seats and laugh at the appropriate moments. Did you know that Andrew Lloyd Webber is in the middle of the Forbes list of richest people? From Cats and Phantom of the Opera alone, he has made 50 million plus. Of course, its not everyone who can write timeless classics, but while car-washers in Hollywood are leaving their scripts on movie executives' bonnets to be noticed, playwrights are quietly providing the sustaining fodder every actor dreams of. Sure, it doesnt appeal to the Joe Everyman but I think there's a certain level of prestige that comes with theatre, that can't quite be duplicated in film.
Whether the prestige is validated, is another question.

Until next time kids ;)

Happy Returns

2007-04-01T20:50:00.000+02:00

Yes. I know. I havent blogged since the Amish New Year, but forgive me for that , because in the process I was just trying to save you the boredom of reading about my routine and boring life. April is the month of new beginnings. Ironically , also the month that the most breakups happen between people. So this is the post that is my step into Blogging Regularly month. As promised to among others, Matt and Mikey. My blogboys :P (and EJ, my honorary one, also the one with whom I share philosophical, slightly insane and wonderful memories)

The past 3 months have been ones of surprisingly little worrying. In comparison to last year's "OhMyGoodnessIhaveToGetIntoPsych" stress. Things at the Writing Lab have been picking up, and Im busy daily with structural problems in documents, and trying to explain to firstyears that you cannot use "bastard" in an academic essay.Also that sentences can't be 3 words long all the time. Mm, Tabula Rasa.

I don't really have any significant news right now , but I will post something tomorrow.
:)

Roses and Porns

2007-02-14T12:29:00.000+02:00

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone. To the singletons : here's to another day we get to be the third wheel in every possible situation except suicide. To the couples : have fun, and stop rubbing our noses in it.

Today is one of random rants, because as always I dont really have anything constructive to say.
It seems Kirst and Mikey are m.i.a...while Debaser and I seem to be barely making an effort to update our blogs. Where is everyone???

Watching the Bulls/Cheetahs game on Saturday, there were a few cheerleaders for the Bulls. Now, call me crazy but I can't imagine wanting to jump around spelling out letters with my body all while smiling like a goldfish on crack and wearing less than a bathing suit. Oh they could say they're "building spirit!" . Theyre also building the need for mass-evacuationof the stadium when someone snaps and goes at them with a shotgun. Seriously. And why do Americans adore the "cheerleading" girls so much in high school? Like sleeping with the quarterback and having long hair is some kind of achievement?

Blog a little later, I have to run up to my room quickly. Be good!

Mizz!

2007-02-10T15:53:00.001+02:00

Whigfield. If you were around in 1996, you'l know her songs... "Sexy Eyes" being one. The hideous one. Close your eyes and imagine vegging in front of the t.v, not a thought in your head. I bet that song is playing right now.

After some mild research I came upon some interesting facts that you didnt know. (Who googles Whigfield?)

- She's Danish.
- Her full name is Sannie Charlotte Carlson (*snigger* i kid you not)
-Her albums were named, in order :Whigfield , Whigfield II, Whigfield III, and Whigfield IV.

bwahahaha! Everytime I think of the fact that a woman called "Sannie" sang about "sexy eyes" and " Whiggy whiggle" ( a song on her second album) I burst out laughing.

say cheese!

Oh ,and as is the habit, kids usually dont know what theyre singing, they just do so at the top of their lungs and atonally. So at age 11/12 us group of girls were warbling out " I want you inside me, tonight" . ;) no really. It must have been disturbing on so many levels.

Bedraggled, and other words

2007-02-09T14:56:00.000+02:00

Defeat is only momentary. Until someone starts laughing at you and then you'l never live it down.

Im hoping/wondering how everyone is doing.. sure, I can check the blogs, which I will do, but Im still wondering. A few people have cornered me (ok, just Wian) and told me that Im a bad blogger for not updating for 3 months. Im sorry. From now on, I'l be a writing whore (more about that later) so you'l know about everything that happens in the life of Anni. As if anyone really, really cares.

In a nutshell : It was Graduation, Christmas, New Years, Birthday and University Post-Grad in the past 3 months. All were hot , literally. And all were good. Especially perhaps New Years which involved pretty delicious punch and an ugly aftermath. I bet you know what happened.

So this year, I'm 22, doing an Mphil in Document Design and Analysis. Sure it sounds boring but I love it to bits. I cant wait to go to class in the evenings. :) I've also been appointed at the Language Lab as a writing consultant. (ka-ching!)

Also, Im still single. Which might be good news for some of you, for different reasons. One of being that I will still be ranting on about how people cannot balance their damn relationships and they live as if the other person is their only functional kidney. Ah , the bitter rants of a happy singleton. Its sort of like sitting on a tin roof throwing pebbles. It makes a lot of noise, but doesnt mean anything.

I miss my blogger friends. Kirstin (we want you TO COME HOME honey!!!) , Mikey (a savanna and philosophising about interior decoration wouldnt go amiss right about now) and dear Edward-John (who, I find now, Im missing terribly). And not forgetting Matt, whom I havent met, but hope to one day.
I really wish we could all just go someplace and hang out for a couple of days.

Oh, and there's something which deserves special announcement : Tate is coming to S.A with a few friends :) I'l be seeing him, so I'l keep you updated on the what's what and whether he really is the world-champion of corny t-shirts (you remember....the well booyee episode, hahaha)

Be good, I'l post more soon

2007

2007-02-04T14:15:00.000+02:00

HELLO!

Just a quick note to say , Im back on campus, so the blogging should pick up again :)
I have no idea whether im still on people's blogrolls, hahaha, but oh well.
Talk to you soon.

Anni

The comeback and the germans

2006-11-17T14:28:00.001+02:00

Hey! It's been quite a while, taking a blogation (a blog vacation) but I'm back! If Britney Spears can attempt a comeback so can I , methinks. I am of course, missing the Greaseball with paternity rights. Ah.

So much has happened - exams ended, I went home, etc.
But today isnt so much about me, as about other people. Most notably two Germans who have absolutely captured my imagination and adoration.
The first, and perhaps more familiar one : Mikey. I won't go through the whole day in detail, but I will say that despite some initial apprehension and nerves, it was fun. And when I say fun, I mean the man makes intelligent, funny and philosophical conversation, all while sipping a Savannah and looking decidedly attractive. Really.

More soft-spoken than I thought (for he uses many exclamation marks in msn chats), I was constantly trying to keep myself in check because when I have to speak English I rely heavily on handgestures and cartoonish antics to try and disguise my lacking profiency.
Also, he did manage to grin at my paltry witticisms, but I don't know if he was just being nice :)

So all in all, Mikey's much more adorable in real life than he could possibly come across online. We didn't hug when we parted ways because I know he's not big on them. Here's an internal hug :)

Ok, so on to the other German : Hans Zimmer.
Seeing that he's one of the most brilliant composers working in movies today, I thought he'd look a bit old and rusty, sort of John Williams-ish. Au Contraire. Our man (who did scores for almost all the best movies ) is quite cute, despite being 49. His music is inventive and ravishing, so much so that you want to think he's that way as well. Listen to the main theme of POTC2, on headphones, with the volume turned up high. If that doesnt rustle something in you, youre probably dead or decaying. I think as far as musical sugar daddies go, I would. I totally would. (He looks better shaven) There's an interview on YouTube.

Hope you're all good.

Healthy and ....erm.....well yes.

2006-10-10T19:13:00.000+02:00

Hello! Sorry for not posting in a while, but its been hectic academically :) (I'll not bore you with the details.)
So as far as I can see , this whole tagging thing (thank you debaser) involves telling the world 20 random facts about yourself. This is quite late to add to this phenomenon, but here we go anyway.

1. I love Muse

2. I can make square omelettes

3. I hum when I think, much to the annoyance of anyone in the near vicinity.

4. I did ballet when I was 5 and was set to dance the lead in our annual concert but then we moved to another town.

5. I want 3 pillows to sleep comfortably (ideally) : one under my head, one supporting my back and holding the last one

6. I draw cartoon cows

7. I blush really *really* easily

8. If there's any one thing that I care about in terms of looks , its my hair : if its a bad hair day, then its a bad day. period. (and those days are many and close together)

9. When I was 13 I auditioned for the Eastern Cape Children's choir and actually got in.

10. First kiss :age 15. Late bloomer.

11. The sibling and I have nicknamesfor each other which were maliciously invented during the June holls : I'm Chutzi and she's Takito.

12. I'm useless when it comes to numbers and the multiplying/adding/subtracting/dividing thereof.

13. I was very often carsick when I was little and once threw up on my mom's shoulder.

14. I like entertaining myself by speaking in different accents.

15. When I was really little I used to love Leon Schuster tapes (ooo cringe!!!)

16. I don't like ginger ale.

17. Like Debaser, wanted to become a paleontologist (correct spelling? i dunno!)

18. Pet hate : people who are making other people feel inferior

19. Fastfood weakness : McDonalds fries

20. I can't remember a single time in my life where I got up the first time my alarm went off.

Necessary Products

2006-10-02T16:30:00.000+02:00

Let there be Grim!!

2006-10-02T16:24:00.000+02:00

Just when you thought every Jones and his aunt had a blog...you discover your (extremely funny and witty) friend has one. Pieter!
We have most classes together and somehow always end up arguing over something that is completely irrelevant to anything. But its fun because he talks nonsense with a straight face and pretends he doesnt write well. Liar.

Just wrote a mean Lexicography test. I actually knew what I was saying, which is a first in that field. But meh. I hope youre all well.

Squire, bring me my antelope burger!

2006-09-27T13:27:00.000+02:00

'Tis quite a warm day, yet I'm walking around in jeans and a t-shirt. For you see, every season brings with it a new sartorial fad, one which inevitably requires us to wear less. (especially females.)
Who likes short shorts? Everybody it seems. There are gazelle-legged beauties with shorts and shiny pumps (another thing you can't walk in without looking like someone attacked you with an enema) , donning Nicole Richie -size sunglasses - the type that shades your whole face.

Thank you Mischa Barton for imparting yet another shiteous fad on the receptive masses.

Anyhoo! Its multicultural week here at Stellenbosch University and on friday some professor is giving a seminar on "Homosexual:the new normal."

This is an interesting title. In the past we assumed everyone was straight and that there were only a few gay people. I thought : "Hm..shame. The don't have much of a choice when it comes to partners because there are so few gays."
What if gay really is the new norm? What if straight people begin to be in the minority? Will gay people look at straight ones and think " shame...they dont have much of a choice." ??

Overthinking never helped anyone. But you can't prevent it. I don't really remember what my point was but I'm sure I had one.

If any of you watch Family Guy (and I sincerely hope you do) , don't you think the newest season is just a teeny bit too much? I mean, they gained notoriety and fame with being called "the edgier Simpsons" but with the newest episodes it seems like theyre really trying to hammer that nail into infinity times two. You get humour - effortless humour...and then you get humour like Tom Green : "Look at me !Look at me! Im doing something outrageous and blasphemous! Im so rad! look at me!"

Family Guy.....don't fall into the Tom Trap.

Hail Urbandictionary!

2006-09-25T10:48:00.000+02:00

Some people are more imaginative than others. Which is why you shouldnt clutch your dictionary so close to your chest, as it can slow the heart down from boredom. This, people, is the funnest thing since googling your own name. Here are a few priceless ones:

GINGERS
"People" with red hair, freckles and pale skin. Mostly subitudes to poke fun at if there is no one fat about. The hatred for Gingers started back in the 8th to 11th century when the Vikings went around all of europe kicking everyones arse. Due to them coming form Scandinavia where Gingers decent from and the fact that they were Ginger themselves (e.g. Eric the Red), everyone started to hate Gingers. This hatred made Gingers unattactive, which is why most of them hardley get any sex, (e.g. Queen Elizabeth I of England, the virgin queen). Interestly enough Eric the Red's son later went on to discover North America. So you fuckins yanks cant say nothing! Plus it is a fact that Gingers purchase over 70% of the sunblock market. In conclusion Gingers will be exstict in the next few centuries, some of you might think its too long or better later than never, but we should remember the positive of being ginger, ill leave you to try and work out some.

Bloke 1 "The sun, risin at this time"
Bloke 2"Nah, its just the Vikings in the distance coming to invade us"
Bloke 1 "Fucking Gingers"

WOOT

Before ALL of that, woot was a happy noise made by certain Monkees and Guinea Pigs when they are happy or content. Net nerds like to take credit for creating stuff that they only adopted. But I know better. I've heard those monkets. And they're happy. woot.

Kristy walks in the door from a long day of work and her Guinea Pig, thrilled to see her, asks "Woot? Woot woot? Woot."

COCKTAIL
1. The tail of a Cock, or Rooster.
Ex: So I was running, trying to catch that chicken, and I grabbed its cocktail and it turned around and pecked me.

AMERICA
The country everyone hates until they need food, military protections, etc.

Don't call me I'll call you [a fool]

2006-09-23T13:54:00.000+02:00

Ah yes. A wonderful Saturday spent in the library wandering through the seemingly endless and uniform shelves...looking for something to clarify Sheila Cussons' poetry. At the moment its gotten to the point where I don't want to see another literary book or poetry anthology in my entire life. I am sick and tired of all this pretention...of people being hailed "the most influential poet" or "most prolific writer of their time" . I fail to see how one person could garner so much acclaim simply by writing something that, to the naked eye, seems pretty straight forward and uninteresting.

van Wyk Louw (who, we find out now, was a total player and cheated on his wife) (and he wasnt even that attractive) , Opperman and Jonker being the prime examples here. Jonker's poetry was lyrical, beautiful and at times sad. van Wyk Louw's was largely uninterpretable. Opperman refused to make use of poetic oddities, leaving it terribly plain. Im not saying they we'rent good writers. Im just saying that people are taking this poetry things wwaaayyy to seriously.

This reminds me of Zoolander, where they interview Hansel and he says "I like Sting. I don't listen to his music, but the fact that he's making it...i like that."

That's how I think of the poetic world. People love them because they're poets. Not because they move people with their poetry.

Conspiracy of the Columbiformes

2006-09-20T21:37:00.000+02:00

What are the odds that two pigeons ("kransduiwe" in this case) fly into your room and sit around waking you up with their incessant noise? Small, you'd say. You'd be wrong.

For the past 4 days these two pigeons have flown in at 7 in the morning, and sat on my cupboard or chair. Thus forcing me to vacate my wonderful warm bed (and interesting dreams) to shoo them. The truly weird thing is they fly up during the day and sit on my window sill outside to check whether the window is open (literally : they walk around to the window in question and then, if its closed, they fly away)

I have no idea what the hell is going on. Its not like there's any form of food in my room anyhow.
Maybe I should just give up, name them and let them be my pets. Or I could tell them that I want something more permanent with them. That should send 'em running for the hills :P

A Yard Sale Of Thoughts

2006-09-18T15:42:00.000+02:00

Mood : whatever happens when you put on Smashing Pumpkins' song " Tonight Tonight" on really loudly while wearing big headphones. (In my case : excitement)
I don't care who says what : basslines and string sections sound better without any sound interference.

Purchased a book today : Being the cheap-ass academic , I snooped out Steven Pinker's "The Language Instinct"
in which he roughly follows Chomsky's theory of cognitive abilities to learn and construct language.
The book is quite old, dating back to 1994 but he writes in an absolutely enthralling way, so much so that you get tingles while reading and wish you could read faster so you can feast on the book like you would Swiss chocolate.

An example : he said that George Bernard Shaw once complained that "fish" could just as well be spelled "ghoti" (gh as in tough, o as in woman, ti as in nation) but that its merely the instutionalised inertia that prevents us from developing spelling further into something more simple. To me, that bit was delightful , especially as Afrikaans is full of German and Dutch loanwords, but with spelling simplification. In that sense, even though the language is only been in full use since 1925, we're ahead of other languages.

Now the problem is just that im caught between two fields (language and psychology) that I both love, but have to choose between.

Next idea : Don't you think there's something narcisstic about having children? Trying to see which of your genes
have manifested in your offspring? Maybe thats part of the subconscious reason why people are reluctant to adopt.
Of course you cannot simplify it to that extent, but think about it. Deep, deep down.

Pooh Poohing the maternal

2006-09-17T18:53:00.000+02:00

Hola Bloggerosos!

Ive been absent for long but its just because Stell Uni had holidays and the internet cafe (my second home) closed shop for some time. But like chunky cheap jewellery and Mariah Carey, im making a comeback. (Even tho some shiteous movie wasnt the reason for my downfall)

Anyhoo. After spending a few days in solitude , talking to my alternate personalities, Lola, Klaus M, and Dr Daisy, I decided it was time to take a well deserved break at some relatives' place in Cape Town. So Friday afternoon I heard that my cousin has (this year) gotten provincial for both cricket and rugby and he's 13 years old. Seeing that none of the girls in our family are very sporty (and we are ALOT of girls) , I guess its only fair that he be blessed with an overload.
Also heard that they had gotten a puppy!! Named Jonty. *sigh* Again, this sports-crazy family is a far cry from my loonybin tribe back in the good old E.P.

So I spent the better part of the weekend mothering the little runt, because as Tate can tell you (because I was frittering about the thing in texts to him) Im mad about it. I mean...look at this:

I rest my case.

I'll blog more often now. Hope youre all good! And I missed reading about all your adventures and philosophies :)

2006-09-04T16:12:00.000+02:00

Ah. Its sunny, its warm, and instead of weaving posies into my hair I'm tired
and splayed out on my bed like a injured calf. But meh.

Isn't it weird how you do pretty much everything with your hands, yet
when someone touches them its very intimate? Why is this?
Neutral areas like shoulders, back or arm are fine...but hands!
Also , the way someone touches your hand conveys paragraphs
about how they feel about you or what their intentions are.

Suppose the two individuals are facing the same way, next to each other.

--The tentative finger lift, where the person is unsure how you'l react. (could be given on a date)
--The fingers grazing your palm, which is a seduction move
--The firm hand hold where the person's palm touches yours and the fingers are entwined. Given that
that there's no nervousness, this is a sign of reassurance and posession.
--where the person holds your fingers bent over his/hers as if the person is
going to lift your hand and plant a kiss on it.

What do you guys think?

(p.s - arent lilies just beautiful??)

Caffeine : a vitamin, a friend

2006-08-30T10:50:00.000+02:00

What would be do without our beloved beverage? Be healthier, I can assure you.
But nothing beats a 2 Am cuppa when youre strapped to write a poem.
Its like school all over again, except the bell can't save you.

I know I claim to be a Bad Poet (its a class of person, go look it up) but in reality, the stuff is terrible. It's just that Terrible Poet doesnt have the same ring to it as Bad. Exactly what Michael Jackson thought when he released his album.

Anyhoo.
Apparently our female flat of doom is going to be home to a new flatmate...a MALE one. Now you'd think we were elated at the news, but now the perks of all being the same gender (i.e pie-charts of who has kissed the most boys and walking around in our towels) are gone. We'll have to deal with his buddies. And he's a masters' student so you can imagine how his buddies are going to come round and perv on my younger friends. (I , however, will be in my room doing something unconstructive as usual)

Oh how I wish this was an interesting post.

Someday, kids. Someday.

HMV (hello Ms Veal)

2006-08-27T17:15:00.000+02:00

Its a lazy Sunday, its quiet and you can pretty much hear the beetles breathing if you can get your head from making all that noise. Yours truly should be working ,but really. I mean.

A few things for today and lets hope I can keep the numbering system consistent this time.

1. Tatler. The British High Society's choice - a thick, glossy and ridiculously pretentious magazine featuring all the counts, princes, lords and everyone who claims affiliation with them. Its filled with articles written by people like Tom Parker Bowles (I know you know the last name...and yes. Its her son) and featuring socialites named "Isadora Clemborough-Dennehan-Julington. Dear Mikey will of course suffer an embolus of pleasure due to all the double barrelled names.
The best part is that if you don't at least have a title and 6000 pounds in the bank you shouldnt even pick up the damn thing. But its great fun to read. Such pretention is absolutely mindblowing.

2. Now from the rich to the poor - go read here to see what the fuss is about. Millions of people are dying due to exposure and starvation, because the current government wants to prove a point (being : that THEY now own this country) and is now renaming a whole lot of cities. This of course, costs money. Im sure the hungry poor will rather live in a place that they can pronounce instead of actually having food to eat. I mean! pff!

3. Me. Now, you saw this coming. A self-indulgent rant about how shite my life is/ how good it is/how it just isnt. Truth is, there's been alot going on, just sort of underneath the surface of things. Case in point : two engineers. (yes the boys, you knew it)
Engineer One : I rarely see. If I do see him, it sort of falls into friends with benefits.
Engineer Two : An acquaintance who became a coffee date. Afterwards, there was an awkward situation from which I withdrew abruptly , and now he is asking my friends whether I want to be approached romantically or not.
The point is : Im starting to despise myself. Two years before I was bitching non stop about people who just up and leave after a kiss. Now the situation has reversed itself and Im the one doing the running. I am such a fricken hypocrite.
Its just that things have changed. There is actually someone who I like immensely. And he means alot to me, even though he's not in Stellenbosch.

So, the only missing part is the physical. Don't get me wrong, im not sleeping around or anything like that.

Do I have to get the axe?
Can anyone shed some light on what you think?

Google Screws Up

2006-08-24T19:30:00.000+02:00

Im really bored. Sure I have a pile of work, but nothing I want to do. So I'm googling my lecturers.

Here's a little jewel I thought I'd share. Guess who's got multiple personalities!!!

OMG My lecturer is a 40 year old virgin!

2006-08-24T19:14:00.000+02:00

Ok well not really. But Darling Willow pointed out the likeness in class. Needless to say, it was difficult thinking about Divergent Equivalent Relationships during Lexicography. (They have the same demeanor, something you won't pick up on by just looking at the photos)

Just change the hair slightly and put a smile on the lecturers face and tadaa!! (or maybe we were just bored to hallucination)

Anyhoo!!!
Not much happened today , except having class, having copious amounts of coffee and having a laugh with my best friend. They were also pseudo-bungee jumping in the Neelsie , and it looked like fun. See? If I blog every day it gets tiring. And boring. Tomorrow I shall bring you interesting news.

(p.s Ive started Grey's Anatomy and I still maintain that I like House more...)

A dalliance with the morose

2006-08-23T18:11:00.000+02:00

Hola.

Again, I start with an apology to my friends and acquaintances (the few and many of it all) that I havent blogged in such a long time. Truth is, there's not a whole lot happening, and I don't want to turn into the blogger who goes "And today...my one sock went missing."
(Before you start mewling, I know..im already there, but trying to redeem myself)

For the umpteenth time, I have been reprimanded by our own little Editor of Doom (how ironic when you consider his last post) that I havent been on any of your blogs in ages and therefore have no right to actually ask how the person is doing. I have TO GO READ how he's doing.

Now for the main course. If youre really bored, read this , a handy couple of guides to live by. All supplied by the nice demented humourists in the world.

We have a Creative Writing module in Afrikaans, and as much as I love giving myself early arthritis on the ole computer, the lecturer is peeving me off like only sleep deprivation and lack of intelligence can.
We had to hand in a poem about some fast food place. When she returned our pieces, she commented on how absolutely lame and uninteresting we all were and that she was not amused at all. Well , Marlene van Niekerk, you can go sit on a bloody cactus.

So for next week we have to write another one and read it aloud in class, so that we can withstand the wonderful hurricane that is peer reviewing. No doubt they will slag my effort off much like you skin an old cow before tossing it into a meat processor to become Enterprise Viennas.

Im sorry, but in my experience you cannot say that "someone's writing is shite".
You can say that it lacks linguistic integrity or that you did not like it.
But just because it doesnt have you rolling around on your kitchen floor doesnt mean that its bad.
*sigh*

Gone are the days

2006-08-14T12:15:00.000+02:00

Hello bloggers! Thanks for being patient for so long (some background music chimes up and a mechanical voice says "your opinion is important to us, please hold" )

Riiiight! Do you know any self-absorbed people? People that think that if they had never been born the world would wonder why? Of course you do. Well last night , as I was searching frantically for some inspiration to write another page of my story, some dumbass rugby player who lives near us starting singing extremely loudly (this was 12:39) and drunkenly, his a cappella version of "Incomplete". You could hear that the correct keys of the song didnt like him at all.

Just a week before I was on my way to the shop beneath us when I looked up...and there he was ....standing in all his blonde muscley glory - in his doorway...wearing only teeny white underpants.
He was looking out over the horizon pretty much the way Simba did when Mufasa told him "everything that touches the light is yours".

Of course yours truly had to stifle a laugh and run for it. Its unbelievable. He plays under 21 rugby for WP. So is there any sport where the participants arent buttheads?
Maybe this is why women are increasingly falling for artists and scientists. Mostly the latter these days.

So here's a question for the guys : WHY do men not notice you when youre dressed up, polished and pretty, but do notice you when you're sporting a jumper, glasses and messed up hair??

I would really, really love this explained.

Sorry I'm a bit cranky. I got about 3 hours sleep because I had a killer fever.

House and Home

2006-08-08T14:13:00.000+02:00

Hola.

Hope youre all good...what with the weather encouraging some indoors activities.
Mine? Watching House. Whom I now have a great big crush on.
So who is he?
James Hugh Calum Laurie (and yes, I would totally call my kids that)

- an English actor who studied Anthropology and Archeology at Oxford and then went on to become a comedian with Stephen Fry in their own t.v show.

And you wonder why I like stubble. Pff!

(I know this post is nothing but the C-rated candyfloss of a bored student, but I promise to have some dirt soon :P)

Battle Axes and Bananas

2006-08-07T19:21:00.000+02:00

The title? Is it an analogy for the male bloggers in our group?
(or am I messing about because nothing else explains my annoyingly random nature?)

I thought of something today...(cue: that joke about someone actually *thinking* for once....yawn)
Males and Females have different defence strategies. And that's one of the reasons that men think women are devious whereas women think men are dumb oafs.

Let me explain : its simple , really. (also probably been done before,...but meh)
Male : physical beating up.
Female : mental beating up.

We simply don't have the strength to put up a fight against the person who offended us. Put yourself in this position: You walk around in a nightclub and some bastard grabs your ass like its his personal pincushion.
You:
a) Give him a playful glance and pretend it didnt anger you.
b) Slap him indignantly and make the face to go with it, right before storming off.
c) Throw some sniding remark that hurts a little more than his ego.

Not a : I don't see why we should tolerate this. It simply sucks, that's why.
While youre trying to have a good time youre reminded that in the end, youre just a part of the decoration. There for his perusal. (note: I'm NOT applying this to all males, just the ones who think its fun to display said behaviour)

Not b : If you dont play along, youre seen as unfun, a spoilsport (cos he "just made a joke") . So youre either a willing doll or a unwilling spinster, it boils down to that. And really, doing that makes you look stupid while he and his mates have a laugh about it not hurting and her being "a feisty little b****"

So you can see how C is the only real option here. If we can't swing a fist to your jaw we have to screw with you mentally. I now remember how cleverly this fits in with EJ's theory.
But its only fair im afraid. We can't do nothing.

And I realise this sounds hecticly feminist, but its not , im just trying to explain our "strange" behaviour.

*sigh*
The fight isnt over , kids.

Untitled

2006-08-05T17:22:00.000+02:00

Its a lazy , warm saturday afternoon here (but it's winter, I hear you say...)
Well let's just say the weather fairies hate us and the equator is too close.

The German Beer Festival is this weekend! A copious amount of beer will be glugged
down by a variety of students. Heck I even contemplated going myself, but remembered I don't
drink beer. WHy is there never a cider festival or something? THen we could invite the whole blogmunity...
I know Tate loves his whiskey (at times also cider) , Mikey hangs on to a Savanna quite frequently
and EJ is known for his "liquid lunches" involving whiskey. So , honestly, why arent
we paying homage to these humble but wonderful drinks? Personally , I prefer Southern Comfort
(and so do most of my female friends) or something that isnt wine or brandy.

Anyhoo. I'm still worried about Kirst, as Im sure you are too.

There's a new series out : Kyle XY
I haven't actually seen it, but apparently its about a family taking in a boy who can't feel
joy or anger (well the premise is sort of like that) so that should be interesting. I'll let you know
in any event.

In the internet cafe they keep playing Celine Dion. oh HOW I WISH I had an mp3 player of some sort.
But currently Im investing my funds in a more...shall we say...distant and long term goal.
So for this bit of idealism, my ears are subjected to musical crud like "Call the man" and "You make me
feel like a natural woman."

meh. She makes me feel like a natural bloody vegetable.

The Art of Avoition

2006-08-03T19:44:00.000+02:00

I am aware of what you may think is a spelling error. It is in fact , plagiarism of a Simpsons character's neologism : news presenter Kent Brockman coined the term in season 8 if I'm not mistaken.

Im just going to fall right into this post...no gimmicky intros here.

Just picked up the latest Cosmo, with its usual dose of holistic cock-and-bull stories. This time it was something about Tantra or something. After I read the article , I thought, well....all they're saying here is don't just jump in there and go right for the bajingo, take time to connect with your partner in a meaningful way. Anyone except a 16-year old hornball can tell you that it's common sense. (Cos , as we all know, a teenage boy would just want to see "the nice boobies on page 9")

So this poses the question : Are all of these holistic things just people trying to grab at straw to keep them from drowning in routine? Perhaps.
Personally I think that if someone told me that they'd want to unblock my Chakras I'd ask them whether it would involve any probing. Although, I think yoga is cool because it's exercise with a mind-twist. And any good psychologist would tell you that mind and body work together quite closely. (That's not me though...Im just a nobody with a blog)

So what do you think? Do people really have magnetic fields around them that, if its unbalanced , it makes them sick?
Flood the comment box with opinions if you don't mind :)

WHERE IS KIRSTIN

2006-07-28T15:37:00.000+02:00

I know its what youre all wondering. According to last eyewitness reports, [EJ] has seen her in Oxford , very much alive and being her indie self. We can only hope she blogs soon. And everyone else for that matter. But instead of flinging accusations (for I am Queen of procrastination), I hope youre all doing well, and that certain people won't use the "away" sign so much on msn, because if youre not in front of the computer, technically youre not online. :P (silly rhodent kids....) (and the aforementioned action makes other people wait in vain for the return of the subject. ...)

anyhoo.
be good

As she shall show, so shall he peep

2006-07-27T20:00:00.000+02:00

Where? : Bohemia, Stellenbosch
Who? Benita + Anni (later joined by Jakkie The Med student and Jaco...er...)

As usual , darling B had to haul me out with a long rope of persuasion but as always it turned out great to be having feta+avo-on-a-regina pizza with her and discussing the stronger (and sometimes uglier) sex over wine and cider. Some funny viewpoints came out of it, although I cant provide full details for the simple reason that it was quite private.

Anyhoo..
The past few days have been a welcome change from the neverending cycle of sleep-eat-veg which was the order of the day at home. I actually get to see my housemates - they are on a whole-weeker , and Im only joining in tomorrow night before meeting up with Benita and Jakkie.

And now, some existential crises folks!

1) Career : besides psych there is the little jewel people like to call Linguistics , which is also a love of mine (I can hear your muffled laughter already...) So if I decide on that I can go directly into MA and finish in 2 years. Apparently its a multimillion-dollar industry because companies lose millions in reduced productivity from workers and clients who are unhappy with correspondence and official documents. (case in point : anything printed by a municipality...or our one at least)

b) Men. Yes , you knew it was going to come to this. Firstly, there's the one I can't have because Pangea decided to screw future generations by splitting.
Then there's our new Lecturer, Prof de Stadler. Don't get the wrong idea...there's nothing even remotely going on/going to happen/will ever happen. But for an older guy he's not half bad.

I daresay there's something in him that smacks of Lex Luthor's dad in Smallville. The greying stubble with a hint of light mahogany. The dispicably successful air to him without being a snob. Heck, even good dress sense. And he is the Director of the Language Centre at the University.
Im simply saying that if he was unmarried and interested, he could be the older man fling.
(Don't take this too seriously though.....)

c) The State of Things
You know...everyday things. Should I get up at 8 as opposed to 10? If i get up at 10 does that make me an unproductive person? Shouldnt I just go to the gym? Should I get takeout or cook?
*sigh*

Its the little things, people.

Petrified Rant of a Singleton

2006-07-25T13:35:00.000+02:00

It seems the Relationship/Gender topic has been abound these past few days.
Mikey's uneasiness at the thought of having one, EJ's denial that women are human
and are capable of feelings, and my own little struggle of being geographically challenged.

It would be interesting to try and prove that 90% of all things we do and think are about, or at least
pertaining , to the opposite sex. Sure a few would argue that we do these things purely for ourselves.
Do we?

Willow and I were contemplating marriage (obviously not to each other) this morning
over coffee. Let us assume that there will be a party for both partners prior to their wedding.
The male version is called "a bachelor party" , whereas the female version is " a kitchen tea."
So here's a taster of what's to come.

Im sorry. Maybe im one of the few women who dont have such a rosy picture of being married.
When I was little my Barbies never got married. They had hot affairs with that dark -haired Ken down the street and became
Paleontologists. No really. I didnt even own a Barbie wedding dress.
Also, I remember now....my one of my friends Mariska , was set on the idea that when we were playing out a Royal Scene
the Queen was to be prettier than the Princess. This just did not make sense to me.

In my mind, the Queen would roll over at 2 am in the morning and look at her King in the faint moonlight, morosely taking in the unruly chesthair
almost reaching the top of his burly chest and the jowls that moved as he ground his teeth in his sleep, all while wondering
where the hell the time has gone and why the big rock on her finger seemed more like a ball-and-chain than a sparkling promise.
In the morning she would appear content with busying herself with castle domesticalities and receiving a peck on the cheek as a show of affection.

Of course there's always the whole adage of "When the right person comes along" .... Sure. Maybe then. Or maybe in 3 years I'll
be blogging about how I want to get married because im just soooooo in love. But at the moment it scares 9 kinds of shite out of me.

So what DID happen to the boys?

2006-07-15T17:37:00.000+02:00

Glad to see that my friends are still alive (even though they're being tortured with cleansing rituals, a la JournoBoy.)

Nothing noteworthy happens here at home, so please bear with me if the posts seem worn out and thin. To answer Lexi and EJ's question : Youre right, the Anni you know wouldnt let an opportunity go by but alas, the boys next door were ALL surfers and they seemed more interested in bobbing around aimlessly in the great blue expanse of ocean (devoid of waves due to the absence of wind) than having female company. So its their loss really. We even had cider.

Ive been quite intrigued in starting to write again, but not the shiteous things i made you lot read a while back. I want to do Eric Idle things. Alan Coren things. If all this language and psych nonsense could be put aside i'd just write humour until im 95 and looking like a prune in your grandma's fridge. Honestly. I want to stop being academical : I dont want to listen to people gripe , I dont want to have lengthy discussions about postmodernism and language as a means of globalisation. I WANT TO WRITE HUMOUROUS NONSENSE!

p.s how emo...wanting to get away from it all.
Ive also been spending alot of time talking to Mikey ( coincidence?) (perhaps)

p.p.s im sorry if this is so self-indulgent. It will get better soon :)

Back from the beach!

2006-07-13T11:33:00.000+02:00

Hello!!! Finally! Getting some blogging done!

Hope youre all well. Im going to try and sum up my week in a few observations. Despite it being the middle of winter, we enjoyed sunny , warm weather (global warming....!)
We had neighbours of course - 1) a house of 8 boys all decked out in wetsuits. 2) two families who shared a house, with a sweet little scottish terrier , who my dog tried to violate on the second day of arrival. Fair enough he hadnt had some action for 8 years.....but....

For 4 days the Sibling and I had to amuse ourselves with the ocean, countless boardgames and marshmallows (and the latter isnt good for anything else than eating, i found out the hard way)
THe sibling , in my opinion, is the funniest person on earth, and i'l even go on record saying that.
To our shocked dismay, we found out that the Afrikaans scrabble doesnt contain a "c". Why?!? SUre there arent any words that you can spell in Afr with a c without having made a spelling mistake....but to exclude it completely? So we set out making phrases instead:

(and the grammar mistakes are intentional, i promise. )

Anyhoo. Of course my stay was punctuated by sms'es from Mikey and the delightful Tateson. Although the former's mostly began with "OMG BURN!!!" :P

The family (as families do) came around in droves, injuring the brandy/whisky bottle somewhat while turning various meats on the braai and generally being noisy and chatty.
Two days ago, Will and Meg joined and as my mum was feeling a bit under the weather I decided I will amaze them with my culinary skills .Which made the pasta pot boil over and the sauce too spicy. But all in all, no one died of it, so I guess I did *some* good.

We found a new game too, wonderfully childish, even if i have to say so myself. We stacked matresses and pillows and then ran and theatrically jumped into it, but trying to take photos while we're airborne. It was great.

The photo underneath is my favourite, it features the sibling running after the dog, it sort of sums up the whole damn week.

And here's our version of the trendy shadow you found on Mike's blog :P

Hope you all enjoyed your week :) much love !! me

The fools

2006-06-26T12:52:00.000+02:00

Hello!
Just a quick nonsensical post here for the few that still actually read the blog : some dude from Japan (!?) has the most entertaining profile on faceparty : its like having Engrish.com write a profile!!

click here

*note : nothing makes him sad...bloody Japs!*

Yes, I know. But there are things like comebacks, thank goodness.

2006-06-23T20:37:00.000+02:00

Hola! I know, its been ages, but exams and vegging has been taking up quite a bit of time. But nevertheless, thanks for hanging in there.

1. Love Supermassive Black Hole. And City of Delusion. and Soldier's Poem. Muse. Mmmm.

2. Babies and Such
You may have noticed that in movies /real life (its amazing how much life imitates art and vice versa) people romanticize the idea of having a baby together. What they don't consider though , is the fact that "baby" is just a euphemistic term for a little human that screams alot.

But sure. It probably is romantic to have it, this little genetic milkshake that turned out human after all, despite the fact that your mother-in-law called you a monster.

But it doesnt always stay that way.Babies are tiny, they look good in the nook of your arm, much like an expensive Armani handbag.They smell of baby powder and look at you with ignorant, big eyes, and giving you the occasional toothless smile which is more often than not a soundless burp escaping than a real smile.

But babies grow up into toddlers. Toddlers have the lifestagial predisposition to create catastrophe using only crayons, a chocolate bar and the cat. They also take it as a given that you are made entirely out of rubber, and frequently try and contort your finger/earlobe until you are yelping in pain.Toddlers in turn, turn into Primary School Children.
Why don't you ever hear people in movies saying "I want a Primary School Child with you" ?Ditto for High School Children.

Despite every single one of them going through what they perceive to be agony and emotional turmoil(but in reality could be a bad batch of curry and a bout of the zits) they share a few common traits.

In early puberty a sudden creative flair for poetry arises. The fact that the poetry is indigestable by anyone who is not in a deep depression is very much beside the point. Words like "empty" , "dark" and "lonely" make frequent appearances. All that we can surmise from this is that they are describing their own cranial cavity.

Secondly, they inexplicably turn colourblind and develop a fashion sense that can only be sufficiently described as "anything your mother would object against". This is often the goal.
We can only hope that the next bout of evolution in the homo sapiens gets rid of the puberty life stage in its totality.

Much love
Me :D

2006-06-12T16:46:00.000+02:00

Sorry Ive been taking so long...here's the video! cringe and enjoy!

http://media.putfile.com/Aicha52

Excuses Excuses

2006-06-08T15:23:00.000+02:00

hello!!! I know its been ages since my last post, but exams and everything else (Sims) has happened inbetween , and to be totally honest, there isnt much going on, except me waiting for time to pass.
So in light of that, I just wanted to say im still alive and I have a surprise that i'll hopefully get uploaded tonight. Its a video. Its horrific. Youre gonna love it

:)

Monologues for Pennies

2006-06-03T15:55:00.001+02:00

Kudos to Beggars in S.A...they are getting smarter by the minute. Do they go to Beg-Today (sort of like Fat Fighters but for bergies) and then learn new techniques to swindle the hard earned cash from us? We all know the ploys...Ive heard everything mentioned here (and in some cases theyre true) :

a) The family who needs to be fed (a reasonable request , then)
b) The train ticket back to Kayamandi (well then how did you get here?)
c) The house that burnt down
d) The sick relative
e) Him/Her trying to find a job but not having anything to eat in the meantime (gets brownie points for at least trying)

This morning one guy stopped me , showing me that he had a few 20c pieces and when I replied that I didnt have my purse on me (which I didnt) he started talking about how he was "a political man" which i dont have the foggiest as to what he means. And he continued to talk about him distancing himself from his native Xhosa community but now he's starving to death.

THe sheer inventiveness of this made me fish around in my pockets, only to find a R5. I gave that to him, along with a thumbs-up sign and continued to my flat, after he thanked me profusely. It seems that they have found that the longer they can detain you, the more likely youre going to give them cash to just stop talking. Most times its their life story. Sometimes a story that wouldnt be credible even if it appeared in Aesop's fables. Ah well. Survival of the creative?

2006-06-01T18:21:00.000+02:00

Aloh! How goes? I was just reading up on some gossip, waiting for my chicken to grill (how domestic of me, I know)...d'you think there's a possibility that Wentworth Miller (gorgeous Prison Break star) is gay? He's too good-looking to be straight surely? (I hear some boo's and hisses coming from the male blogging population...yes dears, we think youre cute too...) Having said that...he doesnt appeal that much to me personally. meh.

Some good news! I went to peek at my psych predicate today, thinking that I had passed it with a 50% at least....turns out I got a sleek 82% instead. This gives me a little boost to the ultimate goal of getting into honours for psych. But nothing's definate.

Do any of you know what pegging is? I got the most random mail on faceparty from a guy asking me if I was interested in dominating him and he asked for...pegging. wtf! weird! There are so many fetishes and weird things going on that we dont know about.

Tis a Wednesday and the sky hath not fallen yet

2006-05-31T10:33:00.000+02:00

Today is decidedly unpoetic, people. Not that my posts are usually anything to write a review about. Yesterday I had the luck of running into Benita and EJ and we had coffee after deliberating whether people were avoiding us back at the ranch. Ah well.
The topic of people came up, as it always does, and I mentioned that i'd love to be like that therapist from Transamerica : she's so ....open, warm, sensual, you know? Its like she's totally hang-up free and she could cure the worst heartache with a hug. B then suggested that maybe its because im self-absorbed. It sounded a bit harsh but I think she was right. Are we too self-absorbed to see past our own issues to reach out to people? Why can't we be more loving and affectionate? Its frustrating!! You like people, but something ' s holding you back from going over and making conversation/giving them a hug. Damnit!!!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch

2006-05-29T10:00:00.000+02:00

Hello fellow bloggers! Sorry ive been absent for so long....the heavy world of psychology was weighing me down. Our lecturer is such a dumbass : She is making is write over the entire book...and she doesnt use WebCT to correspond with the urgent questions the students want answered in terms of the work. What really ticks me off is the fact that for the test a while back, we wrote on 7 chapters of work, but she only asked 2. She literally ignored the others, not so much as a single question came frm them. Grrr....where's that voodoo doll kit of mine!?

On to shinier, happier things. While plowing through the textbook, I noticed that the people being referenced have some freaky surnames. Ive actually begun to write them down....bear with me. These are 100% real, Im not making it up!

Dimsdale (Comes from a town right next to Thickville)
Barefoot (maybe he has Indian roots?)
Raikkonen (yes really)
Gump
Cremer (his grandfather came to America as Cremora but he changed it because the kids teased him)
Suls and Wang (Sounds like the newest comedy duo from Japan)
Plumb and Ogle (The British counterpart of the blokes above)
Cheeseman (he decided to make his obsession with Gouda official)
Cockburn (what you call a chicken being barbequed!)
Kop (In a whitetrash movie : "Hei Marvin! Sit weg die weed, daa kom die kops!" )
Wortman (first name : St John's)

Lovely. And that's only in 2 chapters. Hope youre all well :)

2006-05-25T20:29:00.000+02:00

Benita's Bday party last year, the candles made everything seem wonderful :) (also, it may have been the alcohol, but hey.)

Wian. This is how he looked for 90% of last year : playing spider solitaire.

Louise's bday party a month ago. Note the extreme blushes...inspired by the heat and the delicious pizza-and-cocktail combo.

Kirstin having a colour-coordinated lunch. Note the lemon-pepper there....brilliant stuff. She also taught us the art of eating with Balsamic Vinegar. Bless K.

Will and myself getting up to no good again. We borrowed Johan's headset with the mike and sang Spongebob Squarepants, only to speed it up in an audio program to sound like chipmunks. We laughed so much it hurt.

Stellenbosch in the spring. This is Victoria street, taken from the corner where my street is.

Yours truly after a long hard day of taking people's ego-fuelled abuse and taking orders. i.e waitressing. Its about 12:30 here.

2006-05-24T14:03:00.000+02:00

You want news? Well there isn't any, so instead of regaling you with tales from my life I'd rather just show you.

Will and I at her bday party , 12 May
Carnival 2006, they were apparently depicting Paris Hilton....Carnival is just turning into a huge bootyfest, I tells ya.

Some more carnival shows, and the bloke in the middle looks uncannily like my ex. (laugh loudly people, I was young and stupid)
Us as first-years! We were dressed as "international students" (in the middle there...yes....amongst the paint smudges)...it was incredibly fun.
Willow in her "Im-going-out-tonight-but-its-so-cold" attire.

The girls of flat ...was it 5? Now i can't remember. From left, me, kirstin and benita. Oh what a porch that was. Our little balcony into the sordid and beautiful world of the parking lot.

2006-05-23T10:23:00.000+02:00

Gah! I have the worst writers block! I have to do an article on "space as an influence on subjectivity in Die swye van Mario Salviati." I have everything want to say, but Im struggling with a decent intro. Goshdarnit. :/

On the upside, I have discovered a jewel in the flat below us (well not so much discovered...more like seen twice...) : we live in a totally male-ruled block, but unfortunately its populated by arseholes like Jacobus, who is a loud-mouthed, arrogant guy who constantly makes crappy remarks. BUT....he has flatmates. Now I have to tell you how it happened, so you can see the logic behind this:
I was standing in DeVos, waiting for a coffee , when he walked in with a puppy tucked under his arm. At the same time someone blasted a Muse song from a nearby window. Mmmm. You can see how the factors conspired :
cute guy + puppy + muse = Anni in a good mood

I can't believe its come to this. A whole post about someone I saw in a shop. I really need to get out more. Will post something interesting tonight!

2006-05-21T11:37:00.000+02:00

"Sort of like Jennifer Aniston's"

The phrase that crushed my belief that men are not looking for the impossible woman-figure.
For the record, Edward-John and I were talking about bums.
"Jennifer Aniston does not HAVE a butt" I pointed out indignantly.
Hers just looks like her back, but lower down.

So a few hours later I'm standing in front of the mirror thinking "Good lord. This is not gonna work.
It sort of juts out and it curves when you look at it from the side. "

And I think its unfair that people are so up in arms over the JLo bum thing, because hers isnt that big, its just
that she forces the poor thing into the tightest clothing her overpaid stylist can find. Even your wrist would look
ginormous in those things.

I find it intriguing that guys are classed as either/or " breast, ass, legs or stomach men."
Women dont have that. Why dont we have that?
You don't hear women going on about "Lisa is definately an abs woman."
Or if they do go on about it, I never hear it because my friends are cool like that. Ive actually asked them
what makes a guy attractive to them. And the overwhelming majority said "That something that you can't describe.
An intangible attribute that makes you want to be with them."

I would like to hear some defence in the male corner please :P

2006-05-19T20:39:00.000+02:00

I dream of....Mikey?

Sheesh. Yes you read correctly. I had a nightmare about waitressing (im beginning to think I really do have a fear of going to back to that) and I had 9 tables, but I only got around to one .....the one where Mike was sitting with a few other people (the faces blurred, as dreams go).
And what was really strange is, he ordered like ....5 starters and said that he would tell me the mains later....Mr Creosote before his lardy days? You tell me! Mind you, he was very nice about it.
Afterwards I fell asleep and when I woke up I was drowning in Sprite.

Pop culture and waitressing has very much screwed me up.

2006-05-17T18:06:00.000+02:00

As I was browsing the Education Dept's library for children's books (for an assignment at the time) I came upon a book that.....*wait for it*.....Terry Jones wrote! Its like looking in the cupboard for a Kellogg's Special K bar and finding chocolate mousse...!!!

Its interesting to see what the Pythons have been doing since the good old days.

Eric Idle - has been involved extensively in Spamalot, a spoof of a spoof (Holy Grail...) and apart from that he has been on a tour called "Greedy Bastard" , some sort of comedy thing obviously. (I know this sounds immensely vague but I dont have the facts down pat)

Michael Palin has signed on to Discovery Channel and he will be roaming many mountain ranges and travelling and generally freeze his geriatric bits off while documenting it all. (He has aged in such a manner that you dont recognize him at first)

Terry Jones has written many children's books and is living in London with his family (although Im pretty sure his kids are very much grown up)

John Cleese has been in movies and generally making himself useful (I think)

Terry Gilliam has worked on movies such as The Brothers Grimm, and got accused of "the story not having anything to do with the legend..." well what do you expect from a Python director!?

And sadly, today, Graham Chapman is not doing anything because he's deceased.

On a very unrelated note, Eric has strange looking hands...by that I mean theyre quite small with very slender fingers. Call me crazy but I consider hands a important player in the attraction game. Now Im trying to think of someone with good looking hands. ...Olivier Martinez? My ex? (he did have good hands....actually im pretty sure he still has them)

On that random note , I shall now go and forage in the rain.
Hopefully the subsequent fever will induce interesting hallucinations featuring you lot in different incarnations and plots. One can only hope.

2006-05-16T18:20:00.000+02:00

Finally. So to quickly recap what has happened over the past few days :
1.Will's Bday celebration at Gino's , on the same night as Ryan's birthday. (Fun!!)
2. I got predicate for a Psych test that I stressed about hecticly (its maths..I dont do maths..!)
3. Last night I read an article (well, I use the term loosely) about what your cell phone number
says about you. Its a big hoax of course but that didnt stop me from doubling over in uncontrollable
laughter. (Again, it must be said that I am easily amused.) If you want the article, I'll post it...but its in Afrikaans.
If you really , really want to , I can always translate it. But anyway.

Belinda's mom is over here, staying with her little daughter, cooking for her and cleaning.
Normally I wouldnt mind, I mean, she's paying for the room, but this woman is very strange.
She doesnt attempt to be nice to any of us and constantly makes derogatory remarks about how the house is run!
I try and avoid her as far as is possible, but apparently she has already cornered Louise and Jinx and
reprimanded them about things. So the result of all this is that it feels like we're living in THEIR house.

As an added bonus, Belinda has suddenly turned into a non-smoking, non-cursing little angel.
I don't swear alot but at least I can be honest about it in front of my parents.

Sheesh.
Have you ever felt that there's something out there that you know you would love to do, but
the need to feel useful is overriding your primary desire?
In my case...I would love to be a mythologist. Or just play around with graphics programs until my eyes fall out of their
sockets (or my coffee dries up...whichever happens first.)

Of course this being said, I would be so caught up in studies of mythology and art that
I wouldnt be able to sustain real relationships, which would result in me having to find
a willing love slave.

But what Im really looking forward to is the trials in the choosing of the love slave.
Bring on the champagne and pack the skimpy lingerie. It could be a long fortnight :P

2006-05-15T12:04:00.000+02:00

Hello!!!!
Sorry Ive been absent so long, in truth it was pure laziness of typing that I havent been keeping the hedge trimmed.
So I will type up something significant eventually , but at the moment Im rushing to do an assignment that has to be in later today. With that in mind, I entertained myself last night with compiling my perfect man, in Photoshop (the holy grail of graphic bliss).
Of course its an unrealistic expectation but a girl can dream ;P
(or alternatively capture all these fine men and attempt to splice them with a big scary machine that goes "Ping!")

2006-05-13T17:03:00.000+02:00

Hey!
Sorry I havent posted in ages, but there was quite a lot going on, I promise to backtrack a bit and tell you everything, from dodgy dine-n-dashers (not me) to TransAmerica. Hope youre all well

2006-05-10T10:18:00.000+02:00

So yesterday.. (this is how Kirstin usually begins a conversation...and you spend the subsequent 3 minutes trying to figure out whether youre supposed to know what happened prior to this statement.)

So yesterday,Will and I go to Julians, because its custom that I treat her to a birthday cappucino.
We were chatting like normal girls.. (i.e NO loving glances or hand touching) and when the waitress came up to say happy birthday, she looked at Will, pointed at me and said stuff like "Make sure she treats you special today, I always make my boyfriend treat me like a queen."

Er...what!? So she thinks we're lesbians? To be fair I have used this excuse to escape advances from unsavoury males, because the boyfriend thing just doesnt work anymore. They end up asking you "where is he now", "what type of relationship you have" and "he would never know". So really, pretending to be otherwise inclined just is the easiest way out. Shameful as it may sound.

Speaking of which - its Afrikaans night at NuBar, so we're having pizza & cocktails in Rustics then heading out to take on the town. If i dont post again you'll know its cos I fell off the stage and broken a number of fairly important extremities.

Im assuming anyone in the southern hemisphere saw the video abomination that was "Stellies Student". good lord. For the people who havent been treated to this eyesore...Its a girl stripping via video for her boyfriend. A few months later, they break up. Big mistake.
What's wrong with it?
a) She dances badly
b) She's fugly
c) You see way too much to not be scarred afterwards. Not even the jaws of life is gonna get that one outta your head.
d)She gives Stell students, and indeed South African women , a bad name.

I am both.

2006-05-09T09:47:00.000+02:00

Happy Bday to Will!!!

Her blog is also up and running again, you can find it in the sidebar here.

And on Thursday: Ryan's Bday (Better known as Tateson...)

Not really, no

2006-05-08T18:21:00.000+02:00

I don't really have anything to gripe about.
Really. There's nothing wrong, missing (what a lie!!!), undone or unhappy.

Which , I suppose, would make me stand out from all the other bloggers because usually we're just one heaving mass of "my-life-is-so-crappy"ness. Went shopping today, got the coolest things.
Some jewellery, shoes, wraparounds jerseys....the only perk missing was the lingerie.
There are the two things I always want, no matter how much i have of it : jewellery (colourful, shiny, beady, mmm) and lingerie (lacy, satiny, mmm) .

I was watching "Frida" again the other night. Its such a beautiful , arty film. And Salma Hayek does, arguably, have the best breasts in the world. If I was otherwise inclined there'd be a poster of her adorning my wall. (or at least a sizeable portion of my closet)
But as it stands my mind is elsewhere, and by elsewhere I mean 15 hour-flight elsewhere.

Its interesting that while women are more likely to develop mood disorders, men are more likely to have sexual paraphilias. You freakos you.
If you really want to know how sick the stronger gender can be, go look up "autoerotic asphyxiation" and "frotteurism" .
This sudden spark of feministic leanings is inspired by EJ once saying "You have no idea how strong the sexual drive in men are. Its the main thing."

I refuse to accept it! Are we misguided in idealising men as protectors, nurterers and soulmates?
gah!

2006-05-07T12:52:00.000+02:00

Ok so the smoke rant thing is getting pretty old.
Instead I'll tell about mythology's take on how mankind came to be. Just a little story to entertain you and give you a break from my normal pedantic rantings.

The first man , Prometheus, and his brother Epimetheus were sitting around one day, not doing a particular lot of work. So the gods decided to give them a mate (note: two men...one woman...you can clearly see the patriarchal influence of ancient Greece here...) anyway. The gods all contibuted to her creation : they gave her the gifts of beauty, grace and persuasion. Yes really...only that.
Then, they sent Pandora down to earth with a box full of jewels as wedding gifts. All the jewels represented particular things like love, honesty, forgiveness etc.
She was curious about what was inside and opened the box, only to let all the gifts fly out in different directions. The only gift that stayed in the box was hope.

So the moral of the story is that if everything flies out the window , there's always hope.
Aso, women were made by the gods, while men simply congealed on earth :P
Im kidding! im not feminist...I like guys! ;)

2006-05-05T13:33:00.000+02:00

As is the nature of procrastination and internet, Im sitting here blogging and I have a test at 8. Wonderful. Im feeling incredibly animated today, with thoughts coming out in bits and pieces - fragmented as hell but just as interesting. Im tired! Tired of reading chapters about smoking and drinking! Did you know alot of incidences (3000 a year to be exact) of people die of lung cancer due to secondary smoke?

So being a non-smoker is absolutely futile cos youre going to get gassed up whether you want it or not. Case in point : me and my friends. The people I hang out with most (Will, EJ and Belinda) are all smokers. So what happens is we hang out in the smoking sections where oxygen is like chicken's teeth, and your chest becomes clouded -you can actually visualize the tar sticking to your alveoli.

Ive tried active objection (refusing to sit with Will while she smokes) but its so damn bothersome (and its causes tension) that you give up the fight and go back to falling in with their habits. What's worse is they can't smoke and get it damnwell overwith, its a constant thing. Its like they never know when the craving will grab them so they have to stay in smoking sections for incase. Im sorry but it sucks!

2006-05-04T10:27:00.000+02:00

How goes with all you bloggers? Last night I had a great deal of fun with our own postgrad darlings, Ej and Lexi. And something that struck me again is how people tend to think im endlessly bubbly, while Im actually relatively quiet in the beginning. Sure, I can babbly like a budgie on e, but I have to suss out the person/circumstance first to prevent myself from falling face first into some awkward-cake.

And while im on the topic of personality traits (and this is totally unrelated to last night), people tend to tell me "Im not shy, I don't see the use of it."
Damnit! A personality trait is not a survival technique, that's what instincts are for. Personality traits are based on continuums, they are not checklists!!
"Outgoing, check.
"Active, check. Ah good. Everything seems to be in order, I can go on with life now"

So now you may argue that personality traits may aid the individual in basic homo erectus style survival things, like for example .....Being outgoing can help you find a mate. Sure. But it can also get you into lots of fights because you tend to lean towards more active social interaction.
And besides, take laziness and activeness as two opposite personality traits.
Laziness isnt merely the absence of activeness, it has its own subtraits and dimensions.

So would the offending parties kindly go put their foot in a rusty pilchard-can.

Being indecisive, sleeping on it and then when you wake up still not knowing what youre going to decide on.

2006-05-02T10:13:00.000+02:00

You'd be surprised at how often that happens. If people tell me to sleep on it I might just forget about it altogether. Its a delightful rainy day in Stellenbosch, the long weekend's passed and the oxen hath returned from their wretched off weekends at home. While I was studying at my flat.

Ah yes, the rumour mill never sleeps and I know im about to desecrate my blog by referring to K-Fed, but he says that his album "Playing with fire" will be out sometime soon. A better name would have been "Arsonists welcome" so we can have (yet another) excuse to reduce him to a flaming mass who raps really badly about gigantic asses. Yes I still havent gotten that out of my head.
What is the thing with people giving their albums names like "dreams" and things like that? Sure we all have dreams, most of us actually dream that saps like you lot will die a distinctly un-dreamy death, but hey. If irrelevance was an illness you'd be dead anyway.

Lastly there's the South African popular music scene, of which I am ashamed (as I told Ej last night over coffee) - the main peanuts in the industry seem to think that we don't know what goes on in their boardroom (or backyard, if you listen to the synth instrumentation):

Man 1: Ok, no put Freda's face in the centre, with her name, yes in bold please.
Man 2 : don't you want try something else? it is her 28th album this year, im pretty sure...
Man 1 (turning puce) such insolence! who manages this cash cow..I mean artist, me or you?
Man 2 : you , but I was thinking, maybe trying some other font then...
Man 1 (spluttering spittle all over the other guy's face) What!? it has to be cursive!! always cursive, with the album title in smaller size CURSIVE!"

Man 2 brandishes a machete and offs the manager, thus creating a vacuum in dumb-space and ending the world as the common afrikaans consumer knows it.

Matchsticks :)

2006-04-30T18:36:00.000+02:00

Did a dating-profile quiz thingy, and what came out is interesting cos its quite spot on. Although, im not as funny as I would like to be, and EJ would argue that Im not exactly a "well-spring of love". ...hahahaha! He's seen me squirm in the throes of paranoia and strange outlooks. Bless.

" Funny - You laugh often. People never accuse you of lacking a sense of humor. You don't take yourself too seriously.
Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love.
Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities. You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule. You enjoy being active. "

And my perfect match was:

" Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.
Big-Hearted - You want someone compassionate, someone gentle and kind. A loving, nurturing person will fill that hole in your life.
Funny - You consider a good sense of humor a major necessity in a date. If his jokes make you laugh, he has won your heart."
And just for the record, sensible doesnt mean that everything has to make sense, just that you won't try and stick your head in the toilet because you want to experience the coriolis force first hand.

So its pretty much the same as mine, but hey. I have to be self-indulgent here, its my fricken own blog. Roll on tomorrow!
Go do the quiz! click

Nerve wires+

2006-04-28T12:45:00.000+02:00

Hello! I know its been ages since Ive posted - you'll be glad to know that I didnt spend the days inbetween musing about haircolour. Blondes are great, as my very blonde friend Will pointed out this morning over coffee. And they are. Especially Will. She's the greatest Blonde I know. Oh wait....Dom is blonde isnt he....? Dominic. mmmmmm I may just post a picture again for my own pleasure.

(I resent the fact that you all read my story >typing nonsense< but no one comments. do it! comment!......please?)

Speaking of : Just when I thought I had engineered a beautiful little blogskin, the thing screws up in Blogger, so its back to the drawing board. Butterflies, shiny thingies, no pink (there you go , mike) and such.
Ah yes Mike.....don't we all have girl/guy problems. If its not lack of attention, its too much attention (but only in extreme cases ) and if its not that its damnation to all, courtesy of our own resident neurotic, Ej. (But we still love you...!) I wonder how the whore of Babylon is doing.

Maybe we should all turn asexual and move into a little commune where the daily activities would include blogging, complaining, imbibing copious amounts of alcohol/coffee, sleeping, and then blogging about all of that. Utopia? Nay! Blogopia!
Sure we would be frustrated, drunk, possibly cultivate a new type of acne due to malnutrition, but at least we wont have opposite sex troubles.

My goodness. I don't believe I can post decent, thought-provoking things anymore. From January this year ive become a nonsensical rant-o-matic, but only with good formatting. But you love me anyway!??!? (Existential crisis)

Ok, I really do hope youre all having a good day today.
May you experience little bursts of excitement and happiness when you least expect it.

Brunettes do it better but Blondes get all the credit

2006-04-25T19:13:00.000+02:00

Taking a quick break from typing out the explanation of the metabolism of a diabetic to blog. How sad. Read the title bar again. Im saying this with substantial statistics to back it up:
Last year , in the throws of boredom, Kirstin and myself conducted a little study on Faceparty : we wanted to see how males react to hair colour. (and other things..)
So for a month the imaginary girl (photo courtesy of google) was blonde and the next month brunette. For good measure we gave her an atrociously one-dimensional personality.
The two pics (blonde/brunette) were of equal beauty (we think) and no personality data was changed. The blonde pic however, pulled in twice as much messages as the brunette.

Now dont come shmoping around with things like "yes but what about the other variables" ...screw that! Blondes are still the men's top fantasy and its unlikely that other haircolours will top it. And what about ginger? ......its such a minority as opposed to the other two.

HOWEVER there is one exception : in a similiar study in a girly magazine they found that blondes were attractive for lustful reasons while the brunette was rather seen as the girl next door type. Now obviously this stereotyping has its upsides and downsides.
Go on! Comment~!

Listening

2006-04-24T17:34:00.002+02:00

This is on my current playlist. Get the songs and mellow out, theyre all beautiful. (except Go West, but I love the whole campness thing there. Its so shameless :)

Wuthering Heights - Kate Bush
Love Almost - The Dandy Warhols
Free - The Martinis
Go West - Pet Shop Boys
Prince Igor - Borodin
Dead from the Waist down - Catatonia
Romeo and Juliet - Dire Straits
Fog (live) - Radiohead
Strange and Beautiful - Aqualung
Run - Snow Patrol
Fury - Muse
Poor Unfortunate Souls - Little Mermaid Soundtrack
Bagatelles - Beethoven (which sounds strangely like Clair de Lune)
Don't let it go to your head - Fefe Dobson
Barcelona - Jewel

Kirstin

2006-04-24T12:08:00.000+02:00

Yesterday I was wondering how Kirst is, and seeing that I was busy with Photoshop, this was the product : and don't take the slogan thingy too seriously, its just a phrase that popped into my head.

Monday morning and its pear shaped

2006-04-24T10:33:00.000+02:00

Not much to report on this weekend sadly...It has been fruitless, despite mentioning a fruit in the title bar. i did a shameful amount of psych (meaning...v little) and went out with some people. And of course I was annoyed with the internet cafe's inability to provide internet...isp trouble. grrr!!
But nonetheless, here's 2 pics of us being out.

Pic1 : To my left is Jenny, who looked like a clown had taken revenge on her face because she stole his makeup. She was well drunk, but that doesnt give her authority to be a bloody national eyesore. Me? I know what youre thinking.
a) she's totally on her 2nd vodka
b) she's going to get up to mischief.
c) nice scarf.
I know that's what youre thinking. And youre right.

Pic2: That's Jenny, Belinda, Eugene and Bianca. Last night we spent about 5 minutes laughing about the straw which is just in a quirkily inappropriate place, but hey. It was sunday night, and there was nothing to do. Hopefully this week I can blog about how im being productive, gymming, hopefully slimming down and cutting out junkfood and being friendly and having great hair days.

but probably not.

Milk on Fridays

2006-04-21T13:50:00.000+02:00

Im hot but my boots are cold and wet. Didnt someone once say that if your feet are cold then the rest of you will be cold too? Don't ask where the science is in this, maybe its just a old wives' tale.
I can tell you what's not cold : my fingers. Amazingly, last night my resolve broke and 3 poems came pouring out on paper. It was purging like you havent had before. And I know how terribly pretentious writing poems sound , but you'll notice that Im not forcing them down anyone's throat (ok except that one time) they're mostly metaphors that are meaningful to me, like keeping a diary of what's going on.

Anyhoozle. I remembered something last night which had me in stitches a while ago:
My friend Michelle has this little cousin, he's about 7 or so, and naturally little kids rummage through things and cupboards, totally oblivious to the laws of property.
And he came upon some sanitary towel thingies, so he walks up to his sister with one in hand, asking what it is. Her eyes widened for a few moments before she decided against birds-n-bees talk , and so just said that they were "ghost patches" which you put on your head when you go to sleep so that ghosts dont frighten you. Satisfied with this answer, he went to put them back.

The next morning, he comes out from his room with two of these unravelled and stuck onto his eyelids, proclaiming, "I had the best sleep last night! No ghosts!"

Prayer Before Birth

2006-04-20T20:32:00.000+02:00

This is my favourite poem in the world - its not overly complex but I think it speaks to the human dilemma entirely. I fell in love with it when I was still in school, and only now did I remember who wrote it : Louis Macneice.

I am not yet born; O hear me.
Let not the bloodsucking bat or the rat or the stoat or the club-footed ghoul come near me.

I am not yet born, console me.
I fear that the human race may with tall walls wall me, with strong drugs dope me, with wise lies lure me, on black racks rack me, in blood-baths roll me.

I am not yet born; provide me
With water to dandle me, grass to grow for me, trees to talk to me, sky to sing to me, birds and a white light in the back of my mind to guide me.

I am not yet born; forgive me
For the sins that in me the world shall commit, my words when they speak me, my thoughts when they think me, my treason engendered by traitors beyond me, my life when they murder by means of my hands, my death when they live me.

I am not yet born; rehearse me
In the parts I must play and the cues I must take when old men lecture me, bureaucrats hector me, mountains frown at me, lovers laugh at me, the white waves call me to folly and the desert calls me to doom and the beggar refuses my gift and my children curse me.

I am not yet born; O hear me,
Let not the man who is beast or who thinks he is God come near me.

I am not yet born; O fill me
With strength against those who would freeze my humanity, would dragoon me into a lethal automaton, would make me a cog in a machine, a thing with one face, a thing, and against all those who would dissipate my entirety, would blow me like thistledown hither and thither or hither and thither like water held in the hands would spill me.

Let them not make me a stone and let them not spill me.
Otherwise kill me.

Green

2006-04-20T16:16:00.000+02:00

Today is green, fellow bloggers. Avocado green with nutmeg smudges.
Doesnt every feeling/word have a colour?
Dont look at me like that, Ive tried posting sense-making topics but it seems that if I want to keep you entertained I'll have to get involved in a scandal or at least something where someone loses an eye.
So I suppose you'll have to wait til next week or at least the weekend before I can report such events. Some debauchery has been pencilled in for Friday night, and I sincerely hope something funny or at least awkard happens. I can try running with scissors in an attempt to a trendy haircut. Or change my look and identity completely and start a new life in a different place. You have no idea how inviting that sounds at the moment.

Cohabitation and advice youre not going to try very soon

2006-04-19T18:18:00.000+02:00

Allo!

Due to my famous almost-fainting a few hours ago I crashed on the bed (maybe more literally than you think...) , sipped some coke and paged through a Cosmo. Now being familiar with the dating tendencies of the 21st century, it seems to be standard for people who are in a relationship to live together. Bring on the toothbrush and scented candles and dedicate a whole drawer to your girly things (i.e things that smell, feel and look delightful) (because let's face it, we are the more delightful gender) :P

So on the one side we have people arguing that if you live together beforehand, you can suss out your compatibility better without too much commitment. BUT research shows that cohabitees have a much higher divorce rate than people who didnt live together. Lulled into marriage? Perhaps. Not having the stamina to remove her onslaught of small decorative things out of the house? perhaps.

Now in the same Cosmo was the interesting section on sex advice that you probably wouldnt use. Well I suppose some people would actually, but yours truly wouldnt touch it with a long and sterile stick. One of the headings was "When naked, do silly tricks and running around"
Um........running around? Personally I would find running around naked more torture than anything else, because the firm bits will wobble, and the wobbly bits will actually register on the Richter scale.

so.....had any dodge shag advice lately?

Almost

2006-04-19T15:42:00.000+02:00

Almost fainted today!! Whoooo!!!
I know, nothing to brag about but Ive been running about in the heat and then my friend Christine stopped to chat and my vision started to swim dangerously and I was having cold sweat like someone who was trying to outswim a shark. Im currently waiting on some food being prepared so at least its that sorted. Bacon , avo and feta tramezzini. mmmmm
post pictures of yourselves, people!

Extra Extra!

2006-04-18T21:43:00.000+02:00

See my downfall to the status of social pariah after you've read how badly I write stories.
Its right here people : click

The link is also under "outside" in the sidebar.

Brilliant is such a .....strong word.

2006-04-18T19:42:00.000+02:00

Hello again. I know its been ages since I posted anything, but that's life for you. So
full of nothingness that you forget to blog. But not to fear, its full steam ahead from here.
(and yes, I did make this picture used on the blog. Its no van Gogh, I know)

Im listening to The Cardigans Grand Turismo album...."Junk of the hearts" ...it reminds me
of those days you lie on your bed, your mind completely lost in thought and youre so
bored that youre hallucinating.

I didnt have a very significant easter, only one resolution : to take a brief hiatus from my online
activities in an attempt revigorate it.
So this weekend didnt include of blogworthy activities:

I did manage to damage my eyes that bit more by spending a good while in front of photoshop
and CoffeeCup HTML editor (Im learning HTML.....!!) to try and build my perfect blog. Well what
youre seeing here is the result. Its not perfect, mind you, but Im working on experimenting
with different facets of my personality to try and find the combination that makes me want to
look at it (the blog) every day. Ah the life of a perpetual introspector.

What I did find was that I missed my blogpeople, it really still continues to fry my head as
to how the heck I got so attached to everyone. Well...I was always attached to Kirstin, she's
my dream flatmate because we're alot alike in drinking too much coffee and not bitching
about who wiped the counter how many times.

Im also attached to Tateson because he's
charmed his way into my system without me even noticing - he's such an easy person to like and
makes strange things happen to women (i.e me starting to watch football....!)(Im a BA student for crying in a bucket...i don't watch sports!)

Matt because after so long he's still as mysterious as hell and I'd like to tie him down and pick his
artistic brain. I cant help but think there's alot of know-worthy things in there that might
just reshape humanity. :P

EJ is careening down the passageway of likeability because let's face it, you can't not feel attached
to such a disappointed romantic soul. Maybe its the nurturing instinct. Or the one that feels excited when
you discover that you have absolutely everything in common except hair colour and gender.

Mike. Dear Mikey. Under the emo and devastatingly fashionable clothes there's a budding businessman,
and under that there's someone that you'd like to be stuck in an elevator with. And I don't mean
in a "Indecent Proposal" kind of way. (Not that Im saying he wouldnt do that someday....naughty CEO in the elevator...!)
I'd still like to get tipsy in Burn with him and Kirst. Hearing Muse in surround sound. Ahhh

OK so now with appreciation hour over....well...I dunno. Im sure some random post is going to flow
from my mind to my fingers again today. There you go.

Sidetrack Hour

2006-04-14T11:32:00.000+02:00

If the evening/night had a theme, I think it would be this :)

The whole blogger thing is pretty weird....reading about someone's life even if you havent met them. Well I can safely say that the meeting wasnt
half as scary/draining/unpleasant. In fact, the conversation ate hours out of our lives but I'l lie if I said it was time that I would have wanted to use for something else. Julians was inhabited by its usual vibey crowd, the waiter sombre (upon which EJ promptly asked him to please smile haha) and as is the nature of a pina colada , that was great. Our chat was only punctuated by the people around us (drunk girl who almost took his lighter, and numerous other females stopping to chat to him....mr popular himself :P )

I think on a personal level I was intimidated at first - talking to a worldwise journo who has seen it, heard it and probably has the well written article to prove it.
But he turned out to be much more fun than his blog lets on. much.

So eventually we headed home - the second I walked into my room I plopped on the bed and fell asleep. The next morning I woke up looking like the corpse bride and feeling like Im never going to get enough shut-eye. But hey.

You really have to try the new brutal fruit addition. ;P

*edit* Its only now that I saw the relentless buttering-up of me on his blog....methinks he's way overexaggerating.....if I can only get him to take it down!!!

FADE IN:

2006-04-12T12:38:00.000+02:00

FADE IN:

Dutch Buggers

2006-04-12T12:27:00.000+02:00

If you understand Dutch, go read this blog - its excruciatingly funny. (Not because its witty, but because, like an Indian accent, Dutch is a funny sounding language by default)

http://ietsmetkasper.blogspot.com/

Mango flavoured

2006-04-12T10:15:00.001+02:00

Now this is what I call multi-tasking , people. Im blogging, researching and writing at the same time. Whooo!! I think this blog needs a facelift again. And we all need a vacation, horse tranquilizers and a boxset of Family guy. Now that's what I call fun. Had morning coffee with Will and Benita in the Neelsie , it was great seeing B again as I rarely get the chance (she's doing honours in biochemstry). Strangely, its Wednesday night, and in Stell that means going out and waking up the next morning with a monstrous appetite for cola and very little recollection of what you did the last night. (Ive only once forgotten what I did the previous night. As it turns out, it was quite alot) - I don't really feel like going out. Is it age? Or is it just that all the fun has been sucked out by constant work and worry?
Have you ever been in a conversation where someone first checks you out (not in a good way, the up-and-down-oh-my-word-look-what-the-cat-dragged-in look) BEFORE they greet you? And then they have the audacity to purse out an insincere comment about your hair/clothes etc? ouch!!

Tether me to a topic and start running!!

2006-04-11T16:52:00.000+02:00

Today proved to be a much better day than yesterday because despite my back muscles praying for some sort of release or at least a human touch, my outlook has sweetened up (aided by coffee, but hey). Now there are a few things drifting around in the finite space that is my mind.

Firstly : im very much having a moment of adoration for our newest blogger, EJ -->just read his contribution to the Matie Language Debate on Litnet, and its like he took the thoughts right out of my head. Brilliant Stuff.

Secondly : Just before lunch I gave into my girlie instincts and bought the Glamour with the issue marked "Men..revealed!" I can't help it. The stronger gender is stil not completely figured out, and if I can get an inch more of information leading me to understand how they think, I'll be happy to learn it. It was , in fact, a very enlightening issue. It certainly postulated ideas that Cosmo hasnt touched.. (For the record, Cosmo has regressed into countless issues of "How to be happy", "How to get that bikini body" and "Detox now!" ....none of which I am particularly interested in.)

The man writing the particular piece, said that there are three things necessary for a man to be in love with a woman: (I suppose its interchangeable between gender)
1. Sexual Attractiveness
2. Intellectual Compatibility
3. Being able to relate like a mate.

I think that pretty much summarizes everything. If you have that you only need the labrador and white picket fence and youre waxed.
Speaking of which - Andre P. Brink (celebrated sa writer) has found love at the ripe age of 70. But with an interesting twist : The woman he's in love with is a foreigner, she lives in Salzburg, Austria and they stay in touch with emails and texts. :P Seems even older generations are finding love over the internet.

Thirdly : the complaints in the same article.
Obviously , being female, I have been programmed to think that men are absolutely hung up on the physical traits. So the complaints were surprising :
1. It doesnt look like she enjoys being intimate.
2. She doesnt take initiative with intimate things.
3. ......I don't remember the third one. But it was also in that vein.
So this poses the question : Does all these findings then contradict the myth that men are all about the physical, while women are emotional? It seems that its the other way around!
Guys have hangups, I suppose. One main thing springs to mind of which they are insecure, and being such smart bloggers, I know you know what. Plus there are things like having to be funny/witty all the time (because women are attracted to it) , being charming and unpredictable....

Are we girls giving the blokes a hard time?

(Yes. That's your cue to fire into the comments section with your opinions and rants)

The Taunts the Bottle and The Age

2006-04-10T21:57:00.000+02:00

The test, as I just told Tateson, was terrible...im lucky if I get predicate. Will have to wait and see on that one. Now the last thing I want when I get home from a killer test, is a bunch of girls ready to rip the piss out of me. But thats exactly the welcome I got. Now normally I have a sense of humour and im pretty lenient about joking around and being made fun of - I actually enjoy it.

But Ive been up since 6 this morning, studying, been under considerable stress and now im nipping about my marks. The second I get in the door, they start giggling in unision, asking me whether I had a "night of passion with my engineer"
My parents stayed over saturday night and while my dad was watching the rugby he had a couple of Amstels. They found it in the bin and naturally assumed I had gotten myself into a drunken stupor while on my own in the flat. Secondly, they pasted a condom to my door. And after I plucked it off, they went on about "When have you last seen Marius? your engineer flame!"
I told them not months cos he was in Finland, and I don't see how this has got anything to do with anything. Then they playfully insisted that I use the aforementioned commodity on him, which i found quite offensive because I don't exactly pull anything with a pair of trousers off the street and bed them. In fact, I don't randomly sleep with people at all, so I don't know where that came from. Like I said,I would normally find all of this humourous, but im absolutely pooped. *sigh*

Interesting post

2006-04-10T10:01:00.000+02:00

My sis also has a blog now, I just checked it and found Friday's post fascinating...just the way its written. go here

Critters

2006-04-10T09:39:00.000+02:00

hey blogpeople - even when im under heavy stress i manage to blog, which doesnt say a hell of a lot about my academic perseverence..... :/
Have you ever been so nervous/scared beyond belief that you don't know what to do with yourself? That's me. No doubt tonight I will be blogging about how I won't graduate this year and how I have to repeat a whole year because i flunked a fucking stupid psych module.

So.....erm......on top of this I might have gotten fat. Which just adds to this feeling of wanting to off myself hahahaha . (im not really suicidal, but the alchemy of feeling fat AND stupid is doing my head in...)

I promise tonight I will be the cynical cousin of sweets and daisies , as I post more nonsense.
I miss refreshing all of your blogs to the point of irritation with myself. (Its surprising how you become attached to someone like that.....!)

Subjectivity and morning coffee

2006-04-07T10:28:00.000+02:00

Hey Kids. Two things before I place myself horizontally for a movie.
First : The things I miss -

1. Coming home from school, putting on Linkin Park (Hybrid Theory), and taking a nap right through it in my school uniform.

2. My flatmates from last year.
-Divan because he was overly affectionate and he had friends that fancied me.
-Benita because she was a party animal, daring but also wise.
-Kirstin because no matter what crazy idea you pitch her, she would find a positive angle to it. Also we listened to electro-pop songs.
-Wian because he took the newspaper into the loo and because he has freaky lesbian friends and an addiction to Cheat (the game).

3. Not having to worry about careers, your liver and whether this guy really likes you.

4. Being excited about Christmas.

Ok!!! NExt order of business:::
Some questions for you people to copy and paste on your blog with the answers of course :P (Its a variation of one we had earlier in the year)

1. Names
a) Your real, full name
b) your nickname(s)

2. Three favourite songs at the moment

3. Favourite dessert

4. Your favourite two physical attributes
a) of yourself
b) of a partner

5. The ultimate unforgiveable act in your book is:

6. If someone had to dress up as you , what would you give them to wear?

7. Three favourite magazines

8. A newly acquired bad habit

9. Dream house , described in a few sentences

10. You take five people to a deserted island.....who are they? (and does each one have a purpose or not?)

Sit down kids, get your pillows out

2006-04-06T13:48:00.000+02:00

Ok, so daylight did indeed bring sanity.
First order of business : read : http://www.bigtateson.blogspot.com/ the newest post. I bet that isnt something you've found on alot of blogs ;)

second order : im feeling in quite a foul mood today - I went to write my learners for the scooter and scored full marks for both road rules and controls divisions. I needed one measly mark with the road signs. Is that really going to make me that much more of a danger to society as the taxis and unroadworthy cars out there , who drive with wrenches (yes really, instead of a steering wheel) , who have fake licences and who overload their minibuses by about 14 people?
I mean honestly!!!

I spend way WAY too much time on here.

A little bit of disregard

2006-04-05T21:58:00.000+02:00

Is exactly what I need. Last week's rants from Mike and EJ who were badgering me to go have a cider has finally hit home ( i know, it takes a week for me to come to a realisation...!) and a crazy night out is what I very desperately need. Right after the poetic night of sulking, clutching someone or something and thinking of how absolutely broken me heart feels. The fact that it's not broken has nothing to do with it. one word : verlange. that's all im saying.

Anyways. And before someone starts implying that im a drunkard (*cough cough*) a night out doesnt necessarily mean indulging. It could, but it doesnt necessarily does.
I just need to go dance- completely relinquish control of my body and do what it wants to do.
All the songs that warrant an unhealthy amount of sex appeal to go into your dancing.
Im going too far, I know. But ive been cooped up watching series for too long, I really do need to get out.

And Ive only noticed this now, but this one guy I was chatting to the other day, Dylan, is currently on msn, but his profile pic is one where....well....I dunno how to put this. He took a picture where his back and butt is facing the camera and he's wearing *white* undies. I feel ashamed just taking a peek. He's amazingly toned - would put alot of guys to shame, but....well....WHY? Why post almost-nude pics of yourself?

My niece's cousin's sister's uncle's second child

2006-04-05T13:59:00.000+02:00

I have no idea who that might be.

Me and the sis watched a grossly outdated movie, Dreamcatcher, and to be totally honest, it sucked. Just like it did last time. And the time before that. But an idea popped into my head, as is the nature of ideas : Damian Lewis looks an awful lot like Damien Rice with a spine and an injection of ruggedness. Now if I could only get those two to play siblings in a movie that I want to direct. The plot? I have no idea. The actors? Those two. Actresses? None. Ideally I would be the only brilliant female on set. What? Argh ok fine. I'll hire someone.

Methinks Mr Rice would be the middle sibling (even tho Mr Lewis surpasses him in gingerness) , then we could get someone to be the youngest. Be it a girl or boy. In reality he is just that - the strange middle sibling (he said himself that he's the black sheep cos he's odd). Are all middle kids odd? My parents are both middle kids, and although theyre not that odd, they are both very stubborn as hell. Maybe this could lead to a study of middle kids. Of my friends,...um most of them are eldest children. So I dunno.
Input anyone?

Post Party Notes

2006-04-04T20:49:00.000+02:00

I know all of you think that there's been some grand scale debauchery abound ,but it was in fact a very toned down get together , most of us being from Stellenbosch, so I faintly knew most of them. And as a treat, Ruan Ellis was also there - I havent seen him in ages and he's such a sweetheart. He's one of those people that isnt that good looking but has such a luminous personality that you cant help but be crazy about him. Not that im pinning my affections on a man down here, I was just saying.

We played drinking games, its always lots of fun (sure its a lame excuse to drink) but we ended up laughing so much because of the rules, one where every time a lady drank she had to stand up, touch her nose, left ear, right ear and bum and then say "Charl is King" ;) He commented that that was the way nature intended hahaha. So sexist but hey. Joanie (his gf) could only roll her eyes and grin. I took some photos, but the usb cable is in Stell. Will post pics when I get there.

The big question : Did anyone pull?

YES!!!!
It wasnt me. Don't worry. Louis and Tanya ended up looking mighty snug cuddling on the mattress in front of the t.v during the movie. Yours truly ended up falling asleep on my arm.
Oh and I also fell down the stairs. Well maybe "fall down" is a bit misleading. I had miscalculated the edge of the step and slid 3 steps down, but in the process hurt my hand and back. And there's no bruise!!!Injury with no evidence to gather sympathy with! unfair.

And incase you were wondering, I was sober when it happened. Shame on you for thinking otherwise.

Musical 2 cents and all that

2006-04-03T11:54:00.000+02:00

Im listening to "Beep" by PCD and Will.i.am and as much as I want to dislike those skinny wenches who dance really, really well, im inadvertently drawn to the catchiness of the song (it has very relevant lyrics...) and it makes me want to get up and dance very inappropriately. This, however , will transpire in a week or so in one of our clubs in Stell. Wish me luck and an unbroken pelvis :P

I want to learn to tango. So I can go to Europe and get it on with a hot Spanish man - his olive skin glistening from controlled passion , his dark eyes fiery and intense......the language barrier forcing us to communicate by a more universal language.......braille hahahahaha ( I still have to write that erotic short story ;P )

Tonight's Pieter's 21st (To Kirst...its my pieter, not yours :P ) so that means alot of yummy cocktails courtesy of our cute-as-buttons host, a meeting with the ex, a meeting with the newly single best friend (male), and that means drunken conversation about how she wasnt right for him . He says Ive shrunk!! WTF!! I do plan on looking gorgeous tonight to rub it into the ex's face. Will post pictures, kids. Don't judge too harshly :P

Word!

Batting the competition

2006-04-01T22:27:00.000+02:00

Long, long ago, (two days, to be precise) a bat made its way to our house and flew inside.
The mother of the house was alone because her husband and youngest child had travelled to a far away land to fetch her eldest daugther.
As the mother was watching t.v the bat flew all over the place, leaving its batty creepiness everywhere he touched. So when the mother finally decided to retire to bed, the bat was sitting on her wall, right next to the bed. It gave the mother quite a fright, so she acquired a tennis racket to fight the beast.
In the hallway , a fight ensued. The bat was coming straight for the mother, at a frightening speed. The mother lifted the racket and knew it was now or never . So she whacked him one hell of a shot that flung him to the other side of the hallway altogether. He had died with open eyes from the shock of the hit. And they (well one of them , anyway) lived happily ever after.

2006-04-01T00:05:00.000+02:00

Full Frontal Absurdity

Hello. I realise that my heading is a bit misleading, as this post is everything but absurd. Im extremely tired (6 hours in the car and then 2 hours recounting my whole uni term to mother dearest)

Ah yes. Im listening to radio Ulster, Nolan is SO wound up , he's fighting with this one listener about leaving a kid in a car while nipping into the petrol station. Its so funny!! But shame. Poor guy seems very gutted now, because none of the listeners have sympathy. Now I have to go look what the real issue was about, something about keys being left, a life being lost. . I dunno. But poor Nolan. He's totally exasperated....probably needs a hug. :/

Our djs will just quip with a bit of sarcasm, but he's cool.

Im so tired. Im going to bed.

p.s I spent hours trying to find a new blog template, but nothing supports comments. :(

2006-03-30T10:46:00.000+02:00

Im all FUNned out

Ok well technically not, I havent had the roughest term in the sense of going out and being ridiculously debaucherous ( I don't know if that's even in the dictionary...if it isnt, then I present you with the newest neologism from the A-camp). The girls went out last night, while I was left to rot....ermmm....I mean study alone. THey did bring along their friend, Jenny (see picture).
She is one of those few people who cross the line between being irritating and being a prime example of someone who should be put in solitary confinement because she never shuts up. EVER. You can have a 20 minute conversation with her without opening your mouth once. (true life story..)

And its always about the guys she's pulled (about 10 in two months!) I tend to lean towards more conservative numbers so her being a first year and going on like that has left quite a bitter aftertaste. Speaking of taste, she also overshares. We don't want to know exactly how big he was and where exactly he touched you. Ew. Good lord, those conversations between girls are supposed to be ambiguous. Actual details are never really exchanged, there's usually just alot of teasing and speculation.

But enough about that. Im going home tomorrow morning, which will mean spending a good while on/in my own, wonderful bed.
And my blog doesnt always work! How annoying , I have to google my own damn blog.

2006-03-28T14:39:00.000+02:00

Hey. Since im in a hurry, very tense and very much not concentrating on the proper things at the moment, I decided to come blog. Just a thought, while I was reading up about the female subjectivity and the changing of male identity as a result : You've all heard of the metrosexual, now make way for the worse version : the Mirl. Male Girl. He primps and preens like you wouldnt believe. Has dozens of fake tan lotions, eye creams, night creams, goes for pedicures, facials, you name it.
Now personally, I hate it. Blokes are blokes and women are women. I don't think im being closed minded when i say that the day my boyfriend tells me “We should totally get manicures together.” I will kill him. Whether its out of fear or rage, is yet to be debated.
I have to say i don't have a problem with massages and guys using moisturizer and face wash because, to be fair, its skincare. If you look after your skin its not primping.
How far would you go? As a male, would you indulge in traditionally girly things?
And here's another thought that popped up very unceremoniously while I was trying to concentrate. What if you had the opposite gender's body for 3 days? Being a curious and at the same time frank girl when it comes to odd conversation topics, here's my list: (a bit of it may seem un-ladylike but bear with me)
First order of business, I would grow stubble. Lovely, hard stubble. Then feel my face every so often to appreciate the wonderful texture.
Secondly I would walk around topless. Sure I can do that now, but its not socially acceptable. It doesnt matter how many men say otherwise :P
I would drink litres of water so that I can stand as far away from the loo as possible while I try and get the hang of aiming and handling with the formidable man hose.
After that I'd try and test out the functions. And I do mean all of them.
This is purely so that when I turn into a woman again, I know what feels like what and how much it (really) hurts when you receive a botch to the crotch. Because sometimes you gotta wonder whether theyre looking for sympathy and whether it really hurts that much.Fun stuff.

2006-03-26T21:44:00.000+02:00

Meet The Girls

I know you've been anxiously awaiting some pictures.. (I can see you yawning already)...so here are the girls that frequent the flat (and incidently , the ones who live there).

Ok let's see. First picture (the dark one) is Belinda and myself before bedtime.

In the green bed (mine..!) is Louise, annexing it.
Below that is Jinx, in the red, being made up by Suzanne (not a flatmate but a regular)

The photo where the blonde hair is sticking out...well there's Jenny in the background. A regular in the flat, once again.

The blonde girl on the steps is Belinda.
Two girls on the next pic : The one on the right is Nicky.

And lastly, the group pic at the bottom features, Bianca (the blonde one) - another regular.

Thoughts of a dying humourist

Somewhere between the end metaphor and the wall

Midnight Musical

Cutting The Big Ribbon (again)

News....finally.

Questions!

Forget the Whales, Save The Tagboard

The Mockingbird

Fabricated Destinies, Part 2

Beeno and the chewables

The Typo, The Translation and other shocking word beginning with T.

Baubular

burgundy : the sexy cousin of black

Rich Dark Chocolate

Happy Returns

Roses and Porns

Mizz!

Bedraggled, and other words

2007

The comeback and the germans

Healthy and ....erm.....well yes.

Necessary Products

Let there be Grim!!

Squire, bring me my antelope burger!

Hail Urbandictionary!

Don't call me I'll call you [a fool]

Conspiracy of the Columbiformes

A Yard Sale Of Thoughts

Pooh Poohing the maternal

Caffeine : a vitamin, a friend

HMV (hello Ms Veal)

Google Screws Up

OMG My lecturer is a 40 year old virgin!

A dalliance with the morose

Gone are the days

House and Home

Battle Axes and Bananas

*Untitled*

The Art of Avoition

WHERE IS KIRSTIN

As she shall show, so shall he peep

Petrified Rant of a Singleton

So what DID happen to the boys?

Back from the beach!

The fools

Yes, I know. But there are things like comebacks, thank goodness.

Excuses Excuses

Monologues for Pennies

Tis a Wednesday and the sky hath not fallen yet

Meanwhile, back at the ranch

Not really, no

Being indecisive, sleeping on it and then when you wake up still not knowing what youre going to decide on.

Matchsticks :)

Nerve wires+

Brunettes do it better but Blondes get all the credit

Listening

Kirstin

Monday morning and its pear shaped

Milk on Fridays

Prayer Before Birth

Green

Cohabitation and advice youre not going to try very soon

Almost

Extra Extra!

Brilliant is such a .....strong word.

Sidetrack Hour

FADE IN:

Dutch Buggers

Mango flavoured

Tether me to a topic and start running!!

The Taunts the Bottle and The Age

Interesting post

Critters

Subjectivity and morning coffee

Sit down kids, get your pillows out

A little bit of disregard

My niece's cousin's sister's uncle's second child

Post Party Notes

Musical 2 cents and all that

Batting the competition

Untitled