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Thoughts of a dying humourist
Wednesday, May 09, 2007


Questions!

Feel free to answer them in the comments section ;)

  1. Eye colour?
  2. Who is more evil : Mr Burns or the Monopoly Man?
  3. When you hear someone say " oh i love classical music", what's the first thing that runs through your mind?
  4. Left or right handed?
  5. Most annoying song ever stuck in your head?height?
  6. Describe yourself when you were a toddler.
  7. Fishnets : trashy or vixen?current showergel/soap?
  8. What do people say about you that you disagree with?
Anni
12:28

3 comments
Tuesday, May 08, 2007


Forget the Whales, Save The Tagboard

Ok, people. This tagboard situation is dire : either its going to be used , or I take it off.
[Leaves Teacher Mode]

Hehehe. I hope youre all well..and havent succumbed to Global Storming, which is what Im calling the new variation of the Rat Race. Whilst the Rat Race is one of survival, the Global Storming is the need people are expressing to find the meaning of life. NOW.

(If youre wondering about the name, its a word play on Brainstorming and Global Warming...in case you think I'm just sucking terms out of thin air.)

Philosophy can't exactly be rushed, you know. There were great men who spent their lives trying to define things. Socrates, the kind of Michael Jackson of his time, got stoned to death because society was convinced that he mislead students (i.e kids).

Note : the latin prefix "soc" means companion.


Plato, who was pretty much a midget , and which furnished our beautiful language with the concept of Academia.

Aristotle, who took classes from Plato and had a slightly unhealthy fascination with him, but then later retaliated with his own theory. He stood on the rooftop of his house and shouted this to Plato "Booyah, muthatrucker!" (Or at least the Greek equivalent of that)


Then there are those of the who came afterwards...The Medieval Ones, the Enlightenment Ones, Modern, Contemporary. Im just going to poke fun at the well-known ones. You know what they say : The highest trees.


My point is this : You cannot go through life expecting to find meaning in things if you dont construct it yourself. Its the simple concept of literary works, and a particular belief that I hold in signs : If you want to see them, then you will. Feel free to disagree and bitch. I mean...please do


:)



(p.s I am totally aware of the fact that this is a terrible post...rattling on about the meaning of life...oh someone pass me the knife...but meh.)
Anni
18:15

39 comments
Monday, May 07, 2007


The Mockingbird


If you haven't listened to one of Kristin Chenoweth's songs yet, youre missing out. The button-sized blonde is one of Broadway's hottest performers, alongside Idina Menzel. Be warned,she's a soprano, but the range of emotions she can convey in a single song is amazing. I recommend "How long has this been going on" and "'Til there was you".

This is her, by the way:
Ok, on to the real issue.
Have you ever had a crush on someone that , you personally, consider "out of your league" ? And by this I purely mean that you just can't picture yourself and this individual connecting over anything. In your mind you don't fit together because of certain socially achieved roles : He may be a scientist, you're a writer at heart. She may be an anthropologist, you an artist. Can your natural inclination block the path to truly level with someone and find something special within each other?
Moving away from purely technical stuff...personalities...what if you are relaxed and sometimes silly and he's so cool and collected he makes SL magazine look like a preteen mag with boybands in it. How would you go about making him/her see past things like that? Can you even do that?
The old adage of "soort soek soort" comes to mind...but I'd like to think that humans are so dynamic that they can be attracted and amazed by very different people.







Anni
21:56

3 comments
Friday, May 04, 2007


Fabricated Destinies, Part 2

To continue on that note, here's the second batch of bloggers (in no way less important than the first ones)

4. Neko
She becomes increasingly frustrated with her work, daily musing and observing things she finds interesting doesnt give her the extent of unloading that she needs. Then one day she starts doodling, and before long the entire office's supply of paper is covered in mysterious signs and languages. In true business style they wheel her into the mental asylum, but as soon as her feet hit the ground at the entrance, she breaks loose and tears through her clothes, only to reveal a bodysuit made of a collection of deadly snakeskins dyed red. She hisses at them in very dramatic and impressive fashion, saying that the Scarlet Cobra will come for them. She flips her red satin hoodie up and in a flash she's gone. Her days are spent drawing up plans for her ideal house and sipping Chai tea, but her nights are filled with mystery and action as she tracks down people to take revenge on : everyone in her "bad little brown book" (black is too fashionable to be bad) or alternately, people who don't donate blood. With time, she surpasses heroes such as Superman and Batman for the simple reason that she's more savvy and her name doesnt have a crap prefix in front of the word "man" .

5. Edward-John
Our favourite journalist finds new inspiration in the financial side of things, after he's appointed at the Beeld. He develops the habit of waking up in the middle of the night to check his stock ticker, which he stole from the Monopoly man (he was out on a drive in his car).
He scours the newspapers daily and builds up a frightening repertoire of financial-speak, thus alienating the more ignorant of his friends, and drawing closer the ones wearing unfashionable neckties. After months of speculating , he finally invests some money in a seemingly unknown company called Pear. Pear is a software company that markets tiny ear-computers, and it manages to wipe Apple off the fashionable side of the marketplace. After this, Apple grumbles unhappily and goes to sit under the tree with Microsoft.
Edward-John instantly becomes a gazillionaire, and shows up for the last day of work purely to give his editor the finger. For the next few years he travels the world, wooing countless women and soaking up the culture like a desert sponge. He buys a house in Finland and marries Agnetha, a woman who bears him 9 children, all with red hair.
Anni
23:06

2 comments
Tuesday, May 01, 2007


Beeno and the chewables

Hello! You would think that someone who had imbibed more than the appropriate amount of coffee, would be peppy and jittery. But nooooooo.

So I'm throwing into the air the question of "how is everyone doing" ....no , I really do care how all the blog people are getting on. Having said that, "blogpeople" tend to interest me endlessly. We don't really know each other. Sure, we communicate. But that which is blogged, isnt exactly the grit-n-bones daily stuff that geographically blessed friends put up with. So to which extent are you allowed to feel emotionally connected to people you havent met?

I smell guava.

So, to the chagrin and entertainment of my few blogpeople, here are their futures, as mused by me :) (any truisms contained in this report is purely your imagination.) (And no, the order of blogpeople arent due to favouritism)

1. Kirstin.
Dear Kirst , I fear, will not be keen to come back. Instead she will buy a apartment in London, with the fat promotion that she got from her firm where she works as Indie Festival Organizer. She is constantly seen with the "they're going to be the hottest thing within 5 minutes" bands, and smokes a brand of cigarettes which has filters made of foxtail. Then one day, she makes the mistake of mentioning Franz Ferdinand in the presence of some alternative bands, and at once she is attacked by irate bandmembers and fans. They maul her and continue to cut chunks out of her hair - luckily she breaks a wine glass and puts some eyes out before she escapes, relatively unscathed. After this ordeal, she trades in her London place to live in Teignmouth, where she waits. Her hair still grows in patchy, but she has managed to write a tell-all biography from the comfort of her home, entitled "You sons of beyatches" , to get back at the band who mauled her. It becomes a best-seller and the band's label drops them. Kirstin gets filthy rich and breeds a whole new genus of cat called the "Amphitiger".

2. Mikey
Having been the economy's slave for the unsettling period of 4 years, he decides to travel Europe for a while and gain some life experience. While he's at it, he also wanted to develop a taste for those icky cheeses. So he flies off to Spain, first-class (the leg space, people) and upon arrival in Barcelona almost instantly takes a liking to Pablo, a muscular local who keeps making eyes at him. The next week, a talent scout scoops Mikey up, and he is promptly flown to America to appear in Cocqui Jeans, the hip new collection by Guess. He stands around in the commercial, looking cool and model-like. This catches the eye of Derick, a refined, attractive businessman with a penchant for chocolate syrup and figs on his lover. Mikey emerges from his N.Y loft several days later, clutching an empty tube and a very full conscience.
As he makes his way back into Europe, this time France, he falls down in the the cobbled streets and skins both his knees. His neighbour, a arty and ravishingly handsome man called Jean, nurses him back to health and develops a giant crush on him, all while tending to his wounds and dabbing his forehead when the pain gets too much. They decide to sponsor orphans in West Africa and go for weekly walks in the vineyards.

3. Matthew
In his last year at varsity, he wins the award for "Most Likely to Detract Attention from the Band" , this being precipitated by women constantly throwing their undies onto his camera in an attempt to attract his attention. Growing tired of being both an expert and attractive, he decides to lose one of those labels. He undergoes extensive surgery to alter his looks, but emerges looking pretty much the same , but with a 3 extra fingers and a superfluous nipple, as his surgery was botched. For the next 4 years he would not undress in front of people , and he would aggravate masses by giving misleading directions due to his extra fingers pointing everywhere. He decides enough is enough and changes his name to "Hoiven Maven" and books into exclusive hotels so he can peruse their mini-bars. Finally an old lady is saved from liver failure by Matthew's fridge-pilfering ways, and in her eventual will she leaves him a huge manor and a bevy of gorgeous Swedish maids to look after him. He continues photography, but mostly on the maids. Years later, he is hailed as the Hugh Hefner but without STD's. He is finally happy.

4.Tate
Having been a football nut since he could balance himself on his own legs, he decided that he is finally giving up the ruse of being quite good at football, and decides to give it his all. He turns out to be a super-player and upon discovering him, Man Utd kicks out 2 players of his choice, signs him and gives him a double salary. Soon though ,this life of indulgence and footcramps begins to bore him and he starts looking for greener pastures. By this time his leg muscles have developed so much that he had to give them seperate birthdays and driver's licences. As he stood outside the stadium one day, a raging Tottenham Hotspur fan comes running up and vomits all over him. The acrid smell of failure causes him to faint and in wakes up in hospital with severe Retrograde Long-term Amnesia. To this day he thinks his name is Ryan Tate, simply because one of the nurses thought it was a hot name. His identity document says " Beauregard Fettlestix" . No one has the guts to tell him. Happily he goes through life looking for a woman to marry and have a family with. Currently he only owns a cactus called "Moose".

TO BE CONTINUED>>>

(p.s I dyed my hair)
Anni
21:28

4 comments