Hello! You would think that someone who had imbibed more than the appropriate amount of coffee, would be peppy and jittery. But nooooooo.

So I'm throwing into the air the question of "how is everyone doing" ....no , I really do care how all the blog people are getting on. Having said that, "blogpeople" tend to interest me endlessly. We don't really know each other. Sure, we communicate. But that which is blogged, isnt exactly the grit-n-bones daily stuff that geographically blessed friends put up with. So to which extent are you allowed to feel emotionally connected to people you havent met?

I smell guava.

So, to the chagrin and entertainment of my few blogpeople, here are their futures, as mused by me :) (any truisms contained in this report is purely your imagination.) (And no, the order of blogpeople arent due to favouritism)

1. Kirstin.
Dear Kirst , I fear, will not be keen to come back. Instead she will buy a apartment in London, with the fat promotion that she got from her firm where she works as Indie Festival Organizer. She is constantly seen with the "they're going to be the hottest thing within 5 minutes" bands, and smokes a brand of cigarettes which has filters made of foxtail. Then one day, she makes the mistake of mentioning Franz Ferdinand in the presence of some alternative bands, and at once she is attacked by irate bandmembers and fans. They maul her and continue to cut chunks out of her hair - luckily she breaks a wine glass and puts some eyes out before she escapes, relatively unscathed. After this ordeal, she trades in her London place to live in Teignmouth, where she waits. Her hair still grows in patchy, but she has managed to write a tell-all biography from the comfort of her home, entitled "You sons of beyatches" , to get back at the band who mauled her. It becomes a best-seller and the band's label drops them. Kirstin gets filthy rich and breeds a whole new genus of cat called the "Amphitiger".

2. Mikey
Having been the economy's slave for the unsettling period of 4 years, he decides to travel Europe for a while and gain some life experience. While he's at it, he also wanted to develop a taste for those icky cheeses. So he flies off to Spain, first-class (the leg space, people) and upon arrival in Barcelona almost instantly takes a liking to Pablo, a muscular local who keeps making eyes at him. The next week, a talent scout scoops Mikey up, and he is promptly flown to America to appear in Cocqui Jeans, the hip new collection by Guess. He stands around in the commercial, looking cool and model-like. This catches the eye of Derick, a refined, attractive businessman with a penchant for chocolate syrup and figs on his lover. Mikey emerges from his N.Y loft several days later, clutching an empty tube and a very full conscience.
As he makes his way back into Europe, this time France, he falls down in the the cobbled streets and skins both his knees. His neighbour, a arty and ravishingly handsome man called Jean, nurses him back to health and develops a giant crush on him, all while tending to his wounds and dabbing his forehead when the pain gets too much. They decide to sponsor orphans in West Africa and go for weekly walks in the vineyards.

3. Matthew
In his last year at varsity, he wins the award for "Most Likely to Detract Attention from the Band" , this being precipitated by women constantly throwing their undies onto his camera in an attempt to attract his attention. Growing tired of being both an expert and attractive, he decides to lose one of those labels. He undergoes extensive surgery to alter his looks, but emerges looking pretty much the same , but with a 3 extra fingers and a superfluous nipple, as his surgery was botched. For the next 4 years he would not undress in front of people , and he would aggravate masses by giving misleading directions due to his extra fingers pointing everywhere. He decides enough is enough and changes his name to "Hoiven Maven" and books into exclusive hotels so he can peruse their mini-bars. Finally an old lady is saved from liver failure by Matthew's fridge-pilfering ways, and in her eventual will she leaves him a huge manor and a bevy of gorgeous Swedish maids to look after him. He continues photography, but mostly on the maids. Years later, he is hailed as the Hugh Hefner but without STD's. He is finally happy.

4.Tate
Having been a football nut since he could balance himself on his own legs, he decided that he is finally giving up the ruse of being quite good at football, and decides to give it his all. He turns out to be a super-player and upon discovering him, Man Utd kicks out 2 players of his choice, signs him and gives him a double salary. Soon though ,this life of indulgence and footcramps begins to bore him and he starts looking for greener pastures. By this time his leg muscles have developed so much that he had to give them seperate birthdays and driver's licences. As he stood outside the stadium one day, a raging Tottenham Hotspur fan comes running up and vomits all over him. The acrid smell of failure causes him to faint and in wakes up in hospital with severe Retrograde Long-term Amnesia. To this day he thinks his name is Ryan Tate, simply because one of the nurses thought it was a hot name. His identity document says " Beauregard Fettlestix" . No one has the guts to tell him. Happily he goes through life looking for a woman to marry and have a family with. Currently he only owns a cactus called "Moose".

TO BE CONTINUED>>>

(p.s I dyed my hair)